There is integrity in determining when we are simply reading what the literal words say on the page. It is not a bad thing to know that.
When we get to interpretation of what those literal words mean in terms of our theology, we must be honest with what is there. It’s important to apply the remainder of the Bible, and, within reason, any insights from the culture.
I think it is important to remember that this was a polygamous society, that even in Abraham’s home, he was being given extra wives by his wives of marriage. David starts with two and gets to five and doesn’t have anything to do with one of them after she insults him. And probably because any child would have been both an heir of Saul and of David, so the tribes would have been hard pressed not to make that child the king.
Paul tells us that Bishops and Deacons can have only one wife, so that suggests that some Christian men had more than one wife.
In the Old Testament, one instance of a concubine being horribly abused by the men of Gibeah, I think, there was a justified war started. Dinah being abused led to the deaths of her rapist and the men of his city by the sons of Jacob. The marrying and giving in marriage of the ante-diluvian inhabitants of the earth was part of what brought on the great flood of Noah’s time. The adultery of David and Bathsheba led to the deaths of both Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, and the son born to David and Bathsheba.
The marriage promise is not to be taken lightly.
At the same time, God never condones life threatening violence, and permits actions of self-preservation.
To me, violence and real emotional abuse are forms of desertion. If you get forced out of your home by fear of death, how is that different than someone leaving your home? Either way you have been intentionally separated by the actions of the partner.
I just need to be honest that I’m interpreting that from scripture. I’m not reading it from scripture. But it isn’t contrary to scripture.
I understand and appreciate your points. I certainly don’t claim authority in my own musings. A client (from another matter) has asked me to prepare divorce papers. I do so with heavy heart, as I am so fond of each of them, but there is nothing left to work with. I don’t understand, as they are both so visibly caring towards one another, and yet so determined to dissolve the marriage.
Divorce is a bit like death. Discordant, as it is not and never was a part of God’s original plans; inherently wretched and sad; but in some cases a merciful end.