Posted on 08/31/2015 11:26:42 AM PDT by xzins
Physical abuse
Emotional abuse
Infidelity
Desertion
Failure to support
I’m not a Bible scholar by any means. But I would think that any Biblical standards in this area would apply to the “guilty” spouse; the spouse who cheated or abandoned the other.
Whereas it would seem to me that restrictions on remarriage or any other sanction would not apply against the “innocent” spouse who was cheated on or abandoned.
I think He already did... "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
I think He already did... “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
________________________
If God DID join them together. This is not always the case, I suspect.
Yes
What part of “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” is unclear?
Many of those can be understood very loosely.
For instance, I know of a woman who has been married a number of times who has claimed “Emotional abuse” every time. She has committed adultery (while legally married) for at least one of the marriages, also siting “emotional abuse”. For her it means “I want someone new”.
It is a hard teaching, but there is a reason the view used to truly be “Till death do us part”. Does it mean pain? At times. Does it mean you find yourself on the outside without trying? Possibly. That is where a good pastoral group has to step in. To often it is a free for all, and the kids suffer.
The four A’s-
Adultery
Abuse
Abandonment
Addiction
>> If God DID join them together. This is not always the case, I suspect. <<
Ahh, that’s what an annulment is: the Church’s inference that God did NOT join them together.
“In my opinion, only God can truly answer this question.”
He did: “He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Matt. 19:8-9.
There’s a reason the Holy Spirit preserved that particular statement of God the Son. Parse, ignore it, read things into, dismiss it as an anachronism contrary to “the felt necessities of our time”, etc., at your own peril.
>> The four A’s-
Adultery
Abuse
Abandonment
Addiction <<
So if you come home and find your spouse sneaking cigarettes, you can divorce them? Sorry, but all concupiscence is addiction. It doesn’t absolve spouses from the need to be forgiving. Likewise, one person’s foibles are another person’s abuse; notions like “emotionally abusive” are far too vague. Unless the adultery, abuse or addiction are so severe that they impair the union (i.e., physical abuse, unrepentant or continuing adultery, drug addiction so severe it destroys the security of the marriage, etc.), you can’t simply say, “Hey, your spouse disqualified the marriage on this grounds! Bye Bye!”
It is a matter of integrity and honesty for everyone. But if you know this lady you mention is lying, then God knows too. And He’s the one she should be concerned with.
In the meantime, there is real emotional abuse, and real physical abuse, and real infidelity, and real desertion, and real refusal to support.
Just because someone claims it doesn’t make it so, but we’ve all seen the real stuff, too.
I agree it really happens. I have seen the effects in my family with a cousin. She ended up divorced, after her then husband cheated on her.
But I am much more of a cynic these days.
Well said.
There are lots of people with lots of different rules about marriage and divorce. Just another opportunity to find out whose disciples they really are.
Great points Dangus!
They mirror my concerns also. Many LCMS parishes I have been to have pretty strict guidelines on remarriage in the church (By the pastor). Some of the more “urban” ones do not.
But there needs to be a more defined standard. I have seen to many play the “He/she was X” card, when it was “I wanted someone new”.
But the real ones who suffer are the kids. In annulment cases (like a family member went through), often times there is one party who does not want it, and feels like it says their children are now bastards.
Divorce is a huge issue, and one the Church as a whole runs from. Even the Catholics hand out annulments way to often. Most priests/pastors do not have much in the way of premarriage prep, and those that do are often attacked by the couples and their parents for being to “strict”.
We need to focus on the stuff before the marriage. To many walk into it without understanding that love is a choice, nobody’s perfect, and it takes a lot of work together to make a good marriage. Most don’t even know what love really is.
The four ‘A’s’ as I have been taught them...
Adultery
Abuse
Abandonment
Apostasy
Divorce was allowed by Moses.
Hard to argue with that plain language.
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