So is non obedience to God’s laws (Commandments/Will)an evil work (sin) or not?
If non obedience is an evil work, then obedience to God’s will is a good works (necessary for our salvation). Certainly our good works are inspired by the Holy Spirit and the graces that we receive. We still have free will to do either good or evil. Do you disagree with this?
Jesus took him where his own flawed reasoning planted him and raised him to a new understanding. But if Nicodemus had been obstinate enough, he could have remained gnarled up in his own illogic.
Jesus told Nicodemus, 'Except a man be born of water AND The Spirit' I believe Jesus was referring tot he water of physical birth then the birth by the Spirit of God, to be born from above. Once you are born into His family, the relationship with God is completely different, a family relationship, of intimacy by love, God's nature IN US.
You keep trying to slide back into a relationship under the old covenant, a performance based covenant. That is not the hallmark of the Church Age. It is a hallmark of Catholicism, however.