My Father, who turns 92 tomorrow BTW, goes to his AA Meetings a few times a week at a minimum.
He drank for 60 Years and quit Cold Turkey at age 78.
I go with him to his “birthday” Meeting every year. I sit there and listen to People “sharing”, and I’m happy the Program works for them.
The one thing that drives me crazy is how people call Alcoholism a Disease, most blaming their Alcoholic Parents and dysfunctional Families for their plight.
That is where I draw the line. Alcoholism, just like Chain Smoking is a choice IMHO. Both my Brother and I grew up with a Father who drank like a Fish and a Mother who smoked like a Chimney. Both of us made a decision to do neither.
Of course, I do not share my Opinion with those attending those AA Meetings. If blaming others or using the excuse that their Drinking Problem is some sort of a Disease keeps them Sober, so be it.
It’s worked for my Father who would become Defensive and Rude whenever we suggested he quit drinking. We always got the standard Alcoholic line from him, “I can quit anytime I want to”. It took him falling on his Face Drunk one too many times for him to finally see the light.
In the meetings I go to, if you blame others the members will tell you that your parents or whoever it is you’re blaming, did the best that they could, just like the havoc you may have created in your own family or life with your drinking. It is one of the few places left that I’m aware holds the individual and their actions accountable to them and no one else. I would suggest they find another meeting.
Also, it is commonly believed that this allergic reaction can be passed down from a parent. Whether this is true, I don't know, but alcoholism does seem to run in families, so there could be something to it. In any case, that's a question best left to the scientists.
As for blaming parents, the Big Book is pretty clear that "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making." (page 62). If someone is blaming their parents, or wife, or employer, or anyone besides themselves, they are not properly following the AA program as outlined by the founders.