What were some of the last words Jesus spoke to His disciples?
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations,..."
The church isn't supposed to become an ingrown, self-serving social club.
Believers are to go into ALL the worlds spreading the good news of salvation and making disciples.
They learn about Jesus and salvation from the witness of those who know Him and go out telling people.
I am absolutely amazed that you describe the church concept and then do not follow it...where on Earth does it say that everyone gets to decide for him/her self how things should be done.....