I think one of the false expectations is the men think it’s there for the taking in exchange for a ring. I heard Sister on EWTN say “Did you trade your body for a wedding ring?”
Well, that's a good question. If you signed up to lay down your life and give up everything for others, then maybe you did.
Yes you did.
4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. -- 7 Corinthians 4
It is the duty of each spouse to make a best effort to do things for the happiness and well-being of the other. That is an operational definition of "love". If you have no interest in trying to make your spouse happy, then the marriage is dead.