There has been variability in Church teaching, at the official level, so it's a bit hard to know exactly what ‘traditional’ means sometimes. That said, I don't disagree with you that people often ‘pick and choose’ what it means to ‘be Catholic’, or just to be a Christian. Fox had two priests on O’Reilly last night who were speaking about what the approach to ISIS should be, and how this fits with Christianity. The priests disagreed with each other on some major points, and neither really (IMHO) was sure what the Pope's position is on this.
As an aside, when I was a young kid I saw John Paul II in the US. He said, (paraphrasing since it has been a long time) that ‘Some of you here do not agree with all that the Church teaches. You are still welcome and part of us.’. I guess from my perspective, although there is clear right, and clear wrong, all of us are falling short, and inclusion is better than exclusion. That doesn't mean you turn your back on what is right, or that there aren't moral absolutes. It just means, to me, that if a young person is interested in Catholicism, or any other Christian denomination, but hasn't found their way to do some of the harder things that God asks, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be recognized among those with faith. Life is hard. Living as a good person is even harder. I fail each and every day, in some way.