“I’d like your opinion.”
Okay.
“Makes it hard for me to be fair.”
Why would you want to be fair if it meant eternity in Hell for both you and your friend? And how could you know you were being fair, since “The attempt to make God just in the eyes of sinful men will always lead to error.”? (William L. Brown)
Further, if you were a homosexual, would you rather that people tried to help you lead a life of pickle-smooching and fudge-packing, if that meant they abandoned you to Hell, or that they tried to save you?
“I’m going to consign a very good friend to hell?”
How are you going to do that? Has God empowered you to decide the fate of souls? Telling someone to “come in off that ledge” is not the same as sending them out there in the first place, nor is it pushing them off the ledge.
However they got out on that ledge, the kind thing to do is to talk them back inside.
“Yet - are we not commanded to forgive?”
...dimitte nobis débita nostra, sicut et nos dimíttimus debitoribus nostris... (...forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...)
We are not, however, commanded to approve of sin, or to pretend approval of sin. (Do you really approve of sodomy, or do you just pretend to?) And we are definitely not commanded to encourage others in sin, or to pretend that sin is acceptable behavior.
I believe we are to love the sinner but hate the sin. Does your friend know that you hate his sin and grieve that he is sending himself to Hell? Wouldn’t you want to know, if the tables were turned?
“I’ve got too much to atone for to worry about other people’s sins just yet. Get back to me in 2050 :P”
That is what, in the 1960s, we used to call a cop out. Of course we all have to worry about our own sins and our own souls. That goes without saying. However, if you cannot spare a few minutes to speak honestly and lovingly to your friend, in what sense is he your friend?
Do you think that Our Lord, at your own final judgment, may ask you what you did to try and save your friends who flaunted their mortal sin before you? Because I am dreading the questions He will ask of me.
“He is the judge.”
Yes, and he is certainly not so unjust as to hold us responsible for our sins without having given us the powers of discernment needed to decide whether to follow Him or not.
“He gave us a rather long users manual, which most people never read.”
How tragic that you are right. But whose fault is that?
“...one of my oldest friends...recently settled down happily with his partner - who is a man...”
Firstly, they are not happy, no matter how they protest. Sodomites as a group are miserable. Oh, sure, they have short periods during which the gratification of their unnatural lust makes them think they are happy, but this never lasts. It can’t, because that happiness is illusory.
“Just happen to be incredibly protective of the people I love.”
Then how can you stand by with an approving grin while they bugger each other right through the gates of Hell?
“And yes, I love him”
Are you acting like it?
Thank you all for your long and thoughtful replies. You have all given me much to think about and pray about.
You are all right - I should have his back on this. He’s one of the most stubborn atheists you could ever meet though, even though he has had actual proof of the Lord’s love and protection. Several times now.
We’ll talk. That much is certain. If it’ll do any good, I don’t know. Dreading it, too - for the first time in his life he’s happy. He’s one of the very few people who is in both my morning and evening prayers.
Any suggestions on how to approach it? Head on is going to leave me with a sore head and not much more.