I’m late to this thread so you may have answered already but why do you call yourself a Catholic if you don’t believe what the Catholic Church teaches? Why not find a community that believes what you believe?
There are over a billion Catholics in the world today. It would be ludicrous to suggest that we should all think exactly the same way. It is not wrong to question Church teachings especially when they do not conform to what is written the Bible.
I suppose I could join the Mormon Church——that might make you happy. Or I could join the Episcopalian Church, or Jehovah’s Witness, or The Quakers, etc.... No doubt I would find some issues with some of those churches as well.
Sorry to annoy you, but I’m sticking with my Catholic Church where I serve as a volunteer (Eucharistic Minister) and a member of the Knights of Columbus.