I’ve been a Christian from an early age. I’ve never sought out a Calvinist for discussion or argument. For some reason, many have crossed my path, & insisted on presenting the case that they were right & my faith & practice were wrong. This has been going on for decades.
.45, I am less inclined toward Calvinism now than at any time in my life. One of the reasons, certainly not the only one, is how NASTY so many of these Calvinists became when I didn’t capitulate to their liking. I can honestly say that of all the Christians I have ever met, the Calvinists I’ve encountered were the most aggressive & the least joyous, peaceful, patient & kind. I’ve had some negative experiences with other denominations, but the Calvinists stand out. If the fruit of the Spirit means anything, then please be aware that I saw little or no manifestation of it in those individuals.
I don’t share these experiences often. The last time I mentioned it I was called a Calvin basher. That’s right. For honestly relating real life experiences I have had, I was labeled a basher. Whatever. I just offer these insights to you for consideration. You seem to think there is something compelling about Calvinism. If there were, then Calvinists more than other Christians would overflow with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness & faithfulness. Loudly proclaiming one’s theology correct is the easy part. Living in the Spirit to the degree that the fruits are more abundant day by day, week by week—that’s where the rubber meets the road.
[Note: just to head you off at the pass. Yes, good, sound theology matters. It matters very much. BUT, good, sound theology is in part what produces the fruits of the Spirit. It all works together. If you claim your theology is superior to all others, but it’s not working in your life to produce, in conjunction with the Spirit, the fruits thereof, then something is amiss—profoundly so.]
If that’s true, and I have no reason to doubt you, it’s too bad. That’s not been my experience whatsoever. As I have mentioned, I had been saved for 30 years before I embraced Calvinism and it happened while I was still a member of a prominent Southern Baptist Church, a place we were very plugged in and comfortable. Understand initially I wanted nothing to do with Calvinism because I realized what it meant. I didn’t understand it all, but I knew enough to realize it would be a radical change. Since then I have lost friends over it. I never tried to get them to believe as I do and we never had any cross words about it, but my family was shunned once they understood what we believe. I had friends ask questions about it. Once they heard my answers I never heard from them again. If I can’t play golf or go hunting and fishing or my kids can’t go swimming all because we believe God is sovereign, then so be it.
After a while I realized we needed to look for another church home. When I first took my family to visit Calvinist congregation we were wowed by the welcome and warmth shown to us, both by pastors and regular people in the pews. We visited a number of places before we finally settled. Before that happened we enjoyed much hospitality and made many new Christian friends among several other congregations. We did visit one place where we did not feel welcome. For what it’s worth, it was a Presbyterian congregation in the PCA. However, we visited other Presbyterian congregations that welcomed us with open arms, so it has nothing to do with Presbyterianism.
My little church home doesn’t impress the world, but if you are a believer the people and the warmth would impress you. Their love of The Lord would impress you. The digging deep into the Scriptures would impress you. There are families driving two hours each way every Sunday to get there. Each of them must pass a hundred other Baptist churches on the way. Just last week a senior citizen who is a deacon in a large Southern Baptist Church in another city told me he has never visited another place like it.
I suspect your experience has to do with the particular folks you have encountered. There are hot and cold Calvinist congregations, just as there are with all others. In the end truth is based on His word, it’s not based on those who believe it.