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Has any Christian on this board ever suspected that the Catholic "Church" might have been created by a Christ-hater with the sole purpose of mocking Jesus and his apostles? I am not accusing anyone of anything, merely inquiring of the possibility.

Anyway, I am making a list of what might have been in the minds of the Catholic "Church" founders when they invented their doctrine. See if you think this could be a likely scenario:

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1. Christ said:

"And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven." (Mat 23:9)

The Catholic "Church" founders, after reading this verse, laughed, and said,

"Let's call all our priests "Father," and the head honcho, "Holy Father".

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2. Christ said:

"The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. . . But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi [Master], Rabbi [Master]. But be not ye called Rabbi [Master]: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren." (Matthew 23:2, 4-8)

And the Catholic founders laughed, and said,

"Lets give all our priests unique uniforms that are easily recognizable in the marketplace. Since they are always called "Father," that title, along with their dressy uniforms, will command respect, generate greetings, and provide them with better seats at feasts (and help generate more revenue.) The head honcho, our "Holy Father" (laughter,) will be clothed in all the splendour of the early Levitical High Priest, and then some."

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3. Christ said:

"Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them. But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." (Mark 10:42-45)

And the Catholic founders laughed, and said,

"Let us give our head honcho, our "Holy Father" (laughter,) all the power of a king within our "Church" (laughter,) and strive toward giving him power over the kings of the nations."

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4. Paul said:

"And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." (1 Tim 6:8)

The Catholic founders, laughing, said,

"Not us! We will ensure that we squeeze every last mite out of the sheep so our leadership can live in luxury, and so we can build outrageously tall and extravagant "cathedrals," even in small, poor communities.

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5. The Hebrews and Paul said, respectively:

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled . . ." (Heb 13:4)

". . . in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth." (1 Tim 4:1-3)

The Catholic founders, laughing, said,

"This a good one. Let's forbid all the staff--men and women--to marry; and we will use that as a marketing tool to convince the sheep how great our sacrifices are to serve them (laughter.) And let's have a meat-free day, every week, say, on Friday. But in honor of our illustrious "saviour," fish will be allowed (laughter.)"

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6. James said:

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed . . . " (Jam 5:16)

The Catholic founders, scheming, said,

"Wait! We can use this to our advantage. We will call it, say, a penance, or an indulgence, and we will put a price on each so we can squeeze more money out of the sheep (laughter.) To give it force, we will make it so they can only confess their sins to a priest, I mean, a "Father" (laughter.) "

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Please recommend revisions; or add to the list, if you have others.

Philip