| Articles of Faith Lds |
Deconstructed Articles of Faith [Yes, this column is pure satire] |
If this article of faith was true, then... |
| LDS Article 1: “We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.” |
I believed in Joseph the Stone-Peeping Polygamist, in his fictitious book and in the changing doctrine. [brian-the-christ poster submission on another Web site] |
...this Mormon confessional creed would actually confess that Lds believe in many -- as in multiple gods. But since that would have been kind of "off-putting" in 19th-century America, they didn't mention the "council of gods" referenced in the Pearl of Great Price -- nor does this article highlight the potential "millions" more "gods" who are "ex-mortals." (My, how convenient to present such lapses more openly to the public) |
| Article 2: “We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.” |
2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, such as murdering or drinking tea, and not for Adam's transgression, unless you were a Negro and died before 1978, in which case you were punished and cursed for the sins of Cain, or for what you did in the pre-existence. [poster Deconstructor on another site] |
...the flip side of this is simple: The Mormon Jesus didn't die for your personal sins -- just the original sin of Adam, especially if you're not a Mormon! [Continue to Article 3 for more on this!] |
| Article 3: “We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.” |
[Still in research mode on this one] |
...the atonement, per Mormonism, doesn't heal unless you're a fully obedient person? Furthermore, other Lds leaders are on record saying the atonement doesn't apply to personal sins unless you're an Lds church member & have undergone other Lds ordinances, etc. When the Mormon leaders talk about the atonement's effects, they usually don't emphasize its effect for non-Mormons. Instead, the emphasis is on Mormon membership; Mormon ordinances; Mormon temple activity, etc. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. Let's break this one down into two parts: We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved. Lds "prophet" Spencer W. Kimball: Of course we need to understand terms. If by the word 'salvation' is meant the mere salvation or redemption from the grave, the 'grace of God' is sufficient... (Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 207) IOW, Lds believe all will be resurrected because of the atonement...What they tend to "de-emphasize" , however, is Jesus' words in John 5:29: And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation. IOW, Lds make it sound like it's so great for all to be "resurrected." Reminder: "damnation" is NOT a "degree of glory." ...by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel Back to Kimball: But if the term 'salvation' means returning to the presence of God with eternal progression, eternal increase, and eventual godhood, for this one certainly must have the "grace of God," as it is generally defined, plus personal purity, overcoming of evil, and the good 'works' made so important in the exhortations of the Savior and his prophets and apostles. (Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 207-208) IOW: You have to audition for godhood with a grand resume' of good works! Another Lds "prophet," Joseph F. Smith said: "There is no hope of everlasting life but through obedience to the law..." Gospel Doctrine, p. 503 [Lds are trusting in their ability to obey the law to earn godhood] |
| Article 4: “We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.” |
We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in Joseph Smith; second, Faith in the current version of the Book of Mormon; third, Payment of tithing for the remission of sins; fourth, Repentance for not paying tithing (but only if you catch up); fifth, Blind obedience to the current prophet and to your husband, if you are a woman…[poster deconstructor on another site] |
...who is being glorified again? Faith? Hey, we can't confess Jesus is Lord in hostile environments "except by the Holy Spirit" (1 Cor. 12:3); hence, he gets all the credit! Repentance? 100% due to the Lord's kindness, per Romans 2:4...repentance is something PURELY granted/gifted by God per Acts 5:31; 11:18. So who gets all the credit? God again! Baptism? Laying on of hands? Always described in the New Testament as a passive action -- something done to you. Certainly, the one baptized or receiving a laying on of hands cannot garner any credit here, right? And at least the "gift of the Holy Ghost" has it right...Yes, what He gives is pure give...not earned, merited, qualified for, or "self-'worthied'"! |
| Article 5: “We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.” |
[Still in research mode on this one] |
...if John the apostle is still alive roaming the earth somewhere, as Mormons claim in their "scriptures," why isn't he listed as an Lds "general authority?" Why, therefore, has the Lds church stripped him of his apostolic authority? |
| Article 6: “We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.” |
We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, moneychangers in the temple, Young Men/Women leaders, Relief Society Presidents, Stake Mission Presidents, Young Single Adults Group Leaders, Elders Quorum Presidents, First Counselor to the President and so forth. We also believe that the primitive name for the church was "Corporation of the President." [poster Deconstructor on another site] |
...where are Mormon pastors? Lds claim Jesus had a dozen original disciples in the Middle East + another dozen in America. My math tells me that's 24. Why does the Lds Church have only a "Quorum of the 12" then? Shouldn't they have a "Quorum of the 24?" I can't find stake presidents, stakes, high councilors, unmarried 12 yo deacons, general authorities, presidents, or wards in the Bible. (I thought it was supposed to be a "restoration" of the original -- like Heb. 8:5 indicates?) |
| Article 7: “We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.” |
We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, faith-healing, interpretation of tongues, tearing out of tongues when you divulge endowment secrets, and so forth. [deconstructor] |
...the Lds have charismatic or pentecostal Mormons? If so, where? |
| Article 8: “We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.” |
”IT owns the copyright to the JST and (curiously) the SLC group does NOT include it in their 'Standard Works' of scripture. [which is odd since their Articles of Faith (creedal statement) proclaims that they believe the KJV bible as long as it is translated correctly. I'd think that since GOD Himself gave JS the mission to do exactly that - the Western bunch of MORMONs would call it SCRIPTURE.But, alas, they don't.”(FR poster Elsie, 6/30/2010) |
(Yeah, we know...that's why Joseph "re-worded" many parts of it & you offer that re-worded version everywhere in bookstores, from the SLC home office, etc....No? You don't? Didn't God tell Joseph several times in Doctrine & Covenants to "finish the translation?" Was Joseph disobedient? Then why isn't the JST published & distributed widely by the Lds church?) |
| Article 9: “We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.” |
9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God (which may differ greatly from what He has previously revealed)…[poster deconstructor on another site] |
...Except for one thing: You're always supposed to judge alleged "latter" revelations by the former ones. (That's what made the Bereans "noble" in Acts 17:11). Instead, Lds judge the former revelations by the "latter" ones -- and therefore flunk both exegesis and hermeneutics. |
| Article 10: “We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.” |
10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent or the Middle East; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory. We also believe that our blood may be miraculously changed to that of the Tribe of Ephraim. [poster Deconstructor on another site] |
...(Yeah, we know...supposedly, Jesus will come back in Missouri, which is where Mormons also say the original Genesis garden is stashed away -- and he'll come back on a piece of property where Smith prophesied Temple Lot would be built -- only Lds don't even own the land!) As for ...that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; (Yeah, we know, and Lds apostle Bruce R. McConkie says in "Mormon Doctrine" that the Mormon Jesus will re-institute polygamy when he returns) |
| Article 11: “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” |
11. We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience as dictated by the President of the Church, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship however incorrectly, wherever wrongly, or whatever idolatrous beings they may, since Protestant ministers are hirelings of Satan. [poster deconstructor on another site] |
What? Mormons believe that smoking peyote or something more -- if done under a religious conviction -- is a "privilege" unto man and that God sanctions people "worship[ing] how...or what...may"??? Does that include Manasseh & others engaging in child sacrifice in the OT? Or what about prostitutes @ some of the pagan temples? This is a god who sanctions every manner of "worshiping" even other gods to the point He's willing to build an "article of faith" around it? Wow! (Mormons are pretty liberal, after all) The next time a head-hunting, head-shrinker or voodoo FR thread comes up, you Mormons be sure to peep up and "bless" that with your "article of faith" endorsement, too. For some reason, the Mormon god contrasts the god of the Bible: "You shall not worship the LORD your God in that way; for every abomination to the LORD which He hates they have done to their gods; for they burn even their sons and daughters in the fire to their gods." (Deut. 12:31) |
| Article 12: “We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.” |
12. We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law, unless the law of the land violates the law of God as dictated by the President of the Church, such as in prohibiting the marrying of more than one woman. [poster deconstructor on another site] |
...yeah, agreement-wise -- at least to the point Smith catered to slavery in D&C 134:12 -- but then "no" to the point that they carried on polygamy for 75 years. (BTW, if a Mormon takes D&C 134:12 literally, it means that they can't share even their truncated Mormon "gospel" version with a sex slave today that's in bondage to the worldwide trafficking industry in today's world!) |
| Article 13: “We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul – We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” |
13. We believe in being honest except when lying for the Lord, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul--We believe all things that the Church President tells us, we hope all things, we have endured many things such as changes in Church teachings and conflicting revelations, and hope to be able to endure all things… [Poster deconstructor on another site] |
...We believe in being honest.. (Except it seems to conveniently involve covering up the "rest of the story" that these charts represent about the Mormon belief system!) |
