Statement 1: “All human holiness is because of a relationship of trust in God our Savior. It is identical in the sense that it is of the same kind: a dependent, derivative holiness which comes only as the gift of grace... a pale reflection, not the burning Source.
Statement 2: On the other hand, some people are holier than others... because she was so intimately close to Christ, united because of her humility, her faith, her hearing the Word and keeping It
If righteousness (or “holiness” as you call it) is the gift of God, it does not follow that there are some who are more righteous than others because of their “humility, faith, hearing and keeping the Word.” You are proposing the “because” based on her own personal merits. Since, if righteous comes from God, then humility, faith, hearing and keeping the Word also comes from God. If they do not come from God as the “source,” then it is the personal holiness of the individual that made them holier than the other, and not because God was deficient in giving righteousness to individuals. In other words, you contradict yourself.
Furthermore, the scripture does not teach that Mary was more righteous than anyone else because of her closeness to Jesus.
“And it came to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked. But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it.” (Luk 11:27-28)
If it is, “rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it,” then it follows that anyone who obeys God in their vocation are as blessed as Mary. Though, of course, to be “blessed” does not mean “is more righteous than.”
Not at all. I am proposing that she was predestined to be the Mother of Our Savior, and everything she had, including her holiness, was a gift from Him "Who did great things for her."
There's no such thing as "personal merits" in some sense isolated from God. He certainly gives greater and gives less, as He wills. Jesus said of John the Baptist, "Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he." Greater and lesser are both gifts.
Our Lord's remark about the "biological reductionism" of His Mother to womb and breasts, in no way reduces the honor she has as one who "heard the word of God and kept it." She heard it so well it entered her, and she got pregnant with God.
It saddens me that you take eery opportunity to belittle her who was so honored by Him. Surely He observed, and still observes the Commandment to honor His Mother. It gives me joy to do so. How beautiful she is!