3 Common Traits of Youth Who Don't Leave the Church

Christian Post ^ | 8-24-13 | John Daniel

[ReformationFan]

"What do we do about our kids?" The group of parents sat together in my office, wiping their eyes. I'm a high school pastor, but for once, they weren't talking about 16-year-olds drinking and partying. Each had a story to tell about a "good Christian" child, raised in their home and in our church, who had walked away from the faith during the college years. These children had come through our church's youth program, gone on short-term mission trips, and served in several different ministries during their teenage years. Now they didn't want anything to do with it anymore. And, somehow, these mothers' ideas for our church to send college students "care packages" during their freshman year to help them feel connected to the church didn't strike me as a solution with quite enough depth.

The daunting statistics about churchgoing youth keep rolling in. Panic ensues. What are we doing wrong in our churches? In our youth ministries?

It's hard to sort through the various reports and find the real story. And there is no one easy solution for bringing all of those "lost" kids back into the church, other than continuing to pray for them and speaking the gospel into their lives. However, we can all look at the 20-somethings in our churches who are engaged and involved in ministry. What is it that sets apart the kids who stay in the church? Here are just a few observations I have made about such kids, with a few applications for those of us serving in youth ministry.

1. They are converted.

2. They have been equipped, not entertained.

3. Their parents preached the gospel to them.

[Rashputin]

Do you make a tidy sum selling stuff to homeschooling parents or just charge by the hour to tutor kids who home-school and need help?

It works both ways so wake up.

Anyone who is so shallow and ignorant that they automatically assume someone who doesn't agree with their pet theory is part of the indoctrination machine that passes for an education system in this country needs to pull their head out of the warm, moist, dark, channel they've been keeping it in so long.

No I don't make a cent from anything to do with the schools or the government or from people who home school, either.

[uptoolate]

"I agree, many older kids go along with going to church just out of respect of their parents wishes or to get along with them and then go along in taking part in a ministry out of respect for the Church. What is the point in learning the Gospel of Christ if they never get a chance to go out into the world and use it? How many people in Church are hungry or thirsty or need helped out of the ditch?"

I also think the 85% is a skewed number in that we are assuming that these kids are actually "the Church". Just because someone has been taught what the Gospel is, doesn't mean they were chosen before the foundation of the world, or if they were chosen, had been elected to believe at a young age. There is a difference between living in light of the Gospel as a Holy Spirit dwelt believer vs. living out a set of moralisms.

It is my understanding that the Doctrine of Perseverance will not have a true believer leaving the faith and never returning. If one does leave, it may be that they were never "of us"...but just "among us".

[AppyPappy]

The other teacher had the lesson. I have to do it next week. We are reconciling the love of God with the wrath of God.
Kids get the wrath thing better than adults.

[ravenwolf]

It is my understanding that the Doctrine of Perseverance will not have a true believer leaving the faith and never returning. If one does leave, it may be that they were never “of us”...but just “among us”.

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You have a good point, but my only question would be if some one leaves the Church does it mean they are leaving the faith or are they just leaving the doctrine of the Church?

But actually i think you are right, i don,t think they have lived long enough for God to put that much responsibility on them even if they were chosen before the foundation of the world, Jesus was close to 30 before he started his ministry and we know he was chosen.

[AppyPappy]

Doctrine of Perseverance teaches that those people who die Saved were members of the Elect.
Once Saved Always Saved teaches that your state at death is irrelevant to whether you go to Heaven. if you had a Salvation experience, you go to Heaven.

[uptoolate]

i don,t think they have lived long enough for God to put that much responsibility on them

Agree. I'm reminded of the age requirement of the Israel children to NOT be held accountable for the sin of idolatry and thus were allowed to enter the promised land after the 40 years.

There is a time in every one of our kids lives when they have to move beyond "this is what mommy and daddy think" and test those beliefs and take ownership of what they will call truth in their particular worldview. We think they may be rebelling but they are seeking to establish their own rules of life.

If you haven't listened to Paul Washer on testing yourself to see if one is in the faith then I highly recommend it. Every Youth Leader should show this to their group.

Paul Washer

[wintertime]

Everyone should want their children to have the challenge to their faith that college provides — to come out of it choosing to believe rather than practicing as they’re told, and to have come out still believing after having confronted the intellectual challenges to faith that college certainly will provide.
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Only 15% of children attending godless government schooling survive that challenge.

95% of homeschoolers do.

So?....Should parents choose the option with the best chances of saving their child’s soul and avoiding the very serious temporal consequences or should they choose the option with a better record of success?

[wintertime]

Equating religion to racism. Your liberalism is the most bigoted of all.
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Yep! Someone’s liberal slip is showing.

[wintertime]

I haven’t assumed anything. I am asking.

There **are** schools in this nation that **are** so horrendous that it really would be better for the child to never attend. Illiteracy and innumeracy can be fixed. Death or permanently disabled can’t be.

I have never received any income of any kind from homeschooling, the homeschooling curriculum industry, or tutoring.

[ravenwolf]

Agree. I’m reminded of the age requirement of the Israel children to NOT be held accountable for the sin of idolatry and thus were allowed to enter the promised land after the 40 years.

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That is one of the reasons i think that it is wrong for a kid who is not dry behind the ears to be trying to preach the gospel.

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We think they may be rebelling but they are seeking to establish their own rules of life.

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They do have to establish their own rules, some may be lost forever and some will go through hell on earth but
will be saved.

[ravenwolf]

Doctrine of Perseverance teaches that those people who die Saved were members of the Elect.

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The scriptures plainly tell us that this is true at least in the case of the twelve apostles.

[HarleyD]

We are reconciling the love of God with the wrath of God. Kids get the wrath thing better than adults.

Hey, that was timely. Here is an excellent (though too short) article on What Does It Mean To Fear God which I think is spot on. If you think that every commandment that God has ever utter has been for our good and benefit, and every willful breaking of these loving commandments heaps more sin and destruction around us, then one can understand why our loving Father would get irritated with us. I personally would use Amos 4:6-11 as my text. God's wrath is only meant to draw us back to Him. This too is the love of God.