The 7 Most Hilariously Bad Arguments for Gay Marriage

NC Register ^ | April 5, 2013 | Matthew Archbold

[NYer]

For years we were told that marriage was a dying institution but suddenly it’s all the rage and everyone wants in.

And now, there is a great national debate on gay marriage. Well, kind of. It's more like traditional marriage people asking questions and either being ignored or told to shut up in the name of tolerance by pro-same sex marriage advocates.

But we’ve seen a number of arguments arise in favor of gay marriage that don’t really hold together all that well. Here’s the seven most hilariously bad arguments in favor of gay marriage:

 

7) My son is gay!

This argument has been used most famously by Senator Rob Portman but many others have used it as well in order to "evolve" on this issue. This argument for gay marriage makes me wonder if they didn't realize the existence of actual gay people until their own son just couldn't quit the Glee Marathon.

Now, this may come as a shock to some parents but it’s possible that a child can make choices that the rest of Western civilization doesn’t have to bend its collective knee to.

Imagine this same argument by the parents of Lindsey Lohan because we’d all have to be for the legalization of drugs, okaying kleptomania, and approving of driving over photographers.

 

6) If marriage is for pro-creation, then old people who can't have kids shouldn't be allowed to be married.

Wow. What did old people do to you? I mean, I agree that it should be illegal for old people to kiss in public but come on, let them marry, if only to prevent them from dating.

This argument was proffered by none other than Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan who asked, “Suppose a State said that, ‘Because we think that the focus

[NYer]

4) Jesus was gay.

This one's always interesting because many of the same people who say Jesus never really existed also say He was gay. That dichotomy would be deemed miraculous but they don't actually believe in miracles.

Catholic Ping!

[Vaquero]

Homophobe?

the word does not make sense.

no one I know who disapproves of homosexual legitimacy are afraid of them.

of course Homophobe should be fear of Humans, as fear of Gays would be Homosexualphobe....

[kabumpo]

I wish that everyone here at FR would understand that the suffix “phobe” in reference to a movement or philosophy doesn’t mean “fear” - it means aversion to, or strong dislike of — as in the opposite of the suffix “phile” which means supporter of.
Didn’t anyone read about the contention during the early days of our country,between the Francophobes and Anglophiles (Hamilton, et al) versus the Anglophobes and Francophiles (Jefferson, et al) —

[BitWielder1]

I also wish the left could distinguish between "dislike" and "hate".
But of course their debate style is to always have the volume on max, as if that would make their arguments valid.

Is it OK to be indifferent to individual gays but strongly dislike gay-ISM, the militant movement to insert gays, gayness and gay rights into everything, whether it's relevant or not?

[kabumpo]

well, I think so, since that’s pretty much my position - I have always had gay friends and worked with gay people and I esteem the many contributions of pre-1960s gay culture -
it’s a shame that this got taken over by the Left - now you can meet an entire generation of gay people who have never heard of Noel Coward, Cocteau, Oscar Wilde....

**********************************************
Is it OK to be indifferent to individual gays but strongly dislike gay-ISM, the militant movement to insert gays, gayness and gay rights into everything, whether it’s relevant or not?

[Reo]

"Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan (who) asked, “Suppose a State said that, ‘Because we think that the focus of marriage really should be on procreation, we are not going to give marriage licenses anymore to any couple where both people are over the age of 55.’ Would that be constitutional?”

Neither constitutional nor smart. Kagan needs to read up on Abraham and Sarah.

[Tublecane]

It may not be smart, but it would be constitutional. Of course it would be. Whoever thought the Constitution was at issue? States have always been in charge of family law.

[Fledermaus]

Let’s add #8 - Hospital visits!! That’s been a canard since the 70’s or longer.

[Ditter]

Did anyone hear Rush talking about the gay man, who used to be a woman, get pregnant 3 times because his gay female partner couldn't conceive? He was both birth mother and father to his children.

I got so confused listening to Rush discuss this couple that I forgot what it was that he/she/they were upset about.

[NYer]

It may not be smart, but it would be constitutional. Of course it would be. Whoever thought the Constitution was at issue? States have always been in charge of family law.

What a Constitution Can, and Can’t, Do

[Vaquero]

Francophobe the fear of hot dogs.

Hoplophobe. The fear of weapons. Thank you colonel Cooper. A phobia we can stick strictly on the left.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

****I wish that everyone here at FR would understand that the suffix “phobe” in reference to a movement or philosophy doesn’t mean “fear”***

I like the term Homomisia and islamomisia. A revulsion of homos and islam.

[circlecity]

"Hoplophobe. The fear of weapons."

I would think that fear depends on which end of the weapon you find yourself.