I have to tell you, its frustrating to have a catholic try to argue from the text, then when someone comes around and challenges RCC exegetical conclusions, they just sweep the analysis under the rug of sacred tradition. Your attempt to mold the text to make it say what you want it to say at least tells me that you have some desire to follow the Biblical text, for that you should be commended.
But when you appeal to tradition to justify what is clearly in contradiction to scripture, you are doing just what the leaders and religious people of Jesus' day did.
Matthew 15:1 Then some Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem, saying, 2 "Why do Your disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread." 3 And He answered and said to them, "And why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? (Mat 15:1 NAS)
He had harsh words for them ...
And thus you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition. (Mat 15:6 NAS)
Do you understand what it means to invalidate the Word of God? It means "to make it have no effect." By adhering to your traditions you are making the word of God to have no effect in your life.
I realize you have much invested in your religion, perhaps your whole family, friends, your spouse. But if that investment is in the wrong thing, built upon the wrong authority, arrived at through the wrong beliefs ... what will it profit you?
Both Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition are from the same well-spring and coequally form the deposit of Faith. When it appears that to you that they contradict one another your interpretations of one or both are in error.
Peace be with you