You mean the GOD you believe in, and the way YOU believe in him ?
Also if you tell us whether you were Christian, Mormon, LDS, Baptist, Methodist, Hindu, Chinese, Japanese, Jewish, or Muslim, it might help in understanding which God you are referring to.
My question is to gorush. You are free to look me up on my “about” page, and I have posted extensively so my theological positions are no mystery. But I have come to those positions by a path of discovery not unlike what gorush has described for himself, and that is why I am attempting to understand his logic.