Everything you ‘need’ can be found in the pages of the Bible. If your ‘church’ has to result to Starbucks, rock bands and stadiums, it’s no ‘church at all.
Personally I was raised RC and still believe the vast majority of the teachings. I parted company when the leadership refused to follow their own playbook. IMO, if one ‘has’ to associate with a church at all, the RC Church is still head and shoulders, IMO despite the problems, above these wannabee preachers with a secular degree in business.
If they took their own teachings seriously, I’d be back. Until then, Me and the Good Lord are doing just fine. I discovered that I didn’t need a middleman to tell me what I can plainly read for myself. That is something you may or may not wish to consider for yourself.
Come on back. You know, priests and bishops are sinners like the rest of us, sadly, and we know God chooses the weakest for His work - soundls like many of the priests and bishops right? But some of those weakes have insights and Traditions that will blow you away.
You may be smart, incredibly smart - but what did the earliest Christians and their earliest detracttors say about the Eucharist....about Mary,....You can’t get that from the bible, you get that from the teachings of the Church. Check it out.
The bible is recorded oral history - without eror. But what of the other recorded history of the time? Not divinely inspried certainly, but could have a lot of additional value just like other great men’s thinking (greeks, etec). The male and female “Doctors of the Church” are of course not in the bible, but great men saw the obvious brilliance in what these bible readers pulled and lived from the bible and Tradition and hold them in high esteem - check THEM out.
Come one home - let the jerks in the family not get you so down - Dad is still Dad!
The problem is that if you are ex RC and “do your own thing” you aren’t meeting the Lord in the sacraments. And I find that sad...have you tried going to Eucharistic adoration to pray?