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Why do Catholics leave, and what can be done about it?
cna ^ | April 19, 2012 | Father Robert Barron

Posted on 04/19/2012 11:58:25 AM PDT by NYer

I saw an advance copy of a survey by William J. Byron and Charles Zech, which will appear in the April 30th edition of “America” magazine. 

It was conducted at the request of David O’Connell, the bishop of Trenton, and its focus was very simple:  it endeavored to discover why Catholics have left the church.  No one denies that a rather substantive number of Catholics have taken their leave during the past 20 years, and Byron and Zech wanted to find out why.  They did so in the most direct way possible and asked those who had quit.

The answers they got were, in many ways, predictable.  Lots of people cited the church’s teachings on divorce and re-marriage, gay marriage, contraception, and the ordination of women.  These matters, of course, have been exhaustively discussed in the years following Vatican II, and I’d be willing to bet that anyone, even those vaguely connected to the Church, could rehearse the arguments on both sides of those issues.  But there just isn’t a lot that the church can do about them.  No bishop or pastor could make a policy adjustment and announce that divorced and re-married people can receive communion or that a gay couple can come to the altar to be married or a woman present herself for ordination.

What struck me about the survey, however, was that many of the issues that led people to leave the church are indeed matters that can be addressed.  Many of the respondents commented that they left because of “bad customer relations.”  One woman said that she felt “undervalued by the church” and found “no mentors.”  Many more said that their pastors were “arrogant, distant, aloof, and insensitive,” and still others said that their experiences over the phone with parish staffers were distinctly negative.  Now I fully understand that parish priests and lay ministers are on the front lines and hence are the ones who often have to say “no” when a parishioner asks for something that just can’t be granted.  Sometimes the recipient of that “no” can all too facilely accuse the one who says it as arrogant or indifferent.  Nevertheless, the survey can and should be a wake-up call to church leaders—both clerical and non-clerical—that simple kindness, compassion, and attention go a rather long way.  I distinctly remember the advice that my first pastor—a wonderful and pastorally skillful priest—gave to the parish secretary:  “for many people, you are the first contact they have with the Catholic Church; you exercise, therefore, an indispensable ministry.”  One respondent to the survey observed that whenever he asked a priest about a controversial issue, he “got rules, and not an invitation to sit down and talk.”  Unfair?  Perhaps.  But every priest, even when ultimately he has to say “no,” can do so in the context of a relationship predicated upon love and respect.

A second major concern that can and should be addressed is that of bad preaching.  Again and again, people said that they left the church because homilies were “boring, irrelevant, poorly prepared,” or “delivered in an impenetrable accent.”  Again, speaking as someone who is called upon to give sermons all the time, I realize how terribly difficult it is to preach, how it involves skill in public speaking, attention to the culture, expertise in biblical interpretation, and sensitivity to the needs and interests of an incredibly diverse audience.  That said, homilists can make a great leap forward by being attentive to one fact:  sermons become boring in the measure that they don’t propose something like answers to real questions.   All of the biblical exegesis and oratorical skill in the world will be met with a massive “so what?” if the preacher has not endeavored to correlate the “answers” he provides with the “questions” that beguile the hearts of the people to whom he speaks.  Practically every Gospel involves an encounter between Jesus and a person—Peter, Mary Magdalene, Nicodemus, Zacchaeus, etc.—who is questioning, wondering, suffering, or seeking.  An interesting homily identifies that longing and demonstrates, concretely, how Jesus fulfills it.  When the homily both reminds people how thirsty they are and provides water to quench the thirst, people will listen.

A third eminently correctable problem is one that I will admit I had never thought about before reading this survey.  Many of the respondents commented that, after they left the church, no one from the parish contacted them or reached out to them in any way.  Now again, I can anticipate and fully understand the objections from pastoral people:  many Catholic parishes are huge—upwards of three or four thousand families—and staffs are small.  Yet, just as major corporations, serving millions of people, attend carefully to lost customers, so Catholic parishes should prioritize an outreach to those who have drifted (or stormed) away.  A phone call, a note, an e-mail, a pastoral visit—anything that would say, “We’ve noticed you’re not coming to Mass anymore.  Can we help?  Can you tell us what, if anything, we’ve done wrong?  We’d love to see you back with us.”

The problem of Catholics leaving the church is, obviously, serious and complex, and anyone who would suggest an easy solution is naïve.  However, having listened to a representative sample of those who have left, parishes, priests, and church administrators might take some relatively simple and direct steps that would go a long way toward ameliorating the situation.
 


TOPICS: Apologetics; Catholic; Ministry/Outreach; Religion & Culture
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To: RnMomof7
The Catholics that I know left because of the false doctrine of Rome.

Specifically?

41 posted on 04/19/2012 1:21:46 PM PDT by NYer (He who hides in his heart the remembrance of wrongs is like a man who feeds a snake on his chest. St)
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To: netmilsmom
Sometimes, they know why you left and are glad you’re gone.

: - )

You're right. While still a parishioner, I challenged him on liturgical abuse, and won. He probably did a liturgical dance the Sunday after I left.

42 posted on 04/19/2012 1:25:26 PM PDT by NYer (He who hides in his heart the remembrance of wrongs is like a man who feeds a snake on his chest. St)
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To: MomwithHope
No one has yet posted what I believe is at the root of anyone leaving - no longer believing in the Real Presence.

Jesus said it was so, what's not to believe?

43 posted on 04/19/2012 1:30:21 PM PDT by NYer (He who hides in his heart the remembrance of wrongs is like a man who feeds a snake on his chest. St)
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To: netmilsmom

We’ve got a not-insignificant number of ex-Catholics in our (rather large) Baptist Congregation. I’m sure there are some Catholic Churches filled with disgruntled ex-Baptists somewhere.

Find the truth. Find Salvation. Find Christ. Doesn’t matter much to me how you get to Him.

SnakeDoc


44 posted on 04/19/2012 1:31:49 PM PDT by SnakeDoctor ("I've shot people I like more for less." -- Raylan Givens)
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To: netmilsmom; RnMomof7; USS Alaska
"Cause let me tell you, if your interpretation of Christianity is rudeness or inconsideration, you’re doing it very well."

Let me tell you what I told an equally smug anti-Catholic earlier today:

I sincerely hope that you continue to proclaim the Gospel with all of your fervor and zeal. I only ask that you consider the cautions given us in Scripture and Tradition to do so with love, gentleness and respect, not rancor, disdain and arrogance. When we evangelize it is not we who convert hearts, it is the Holy Spirit. But our actions can assist or impede the process. In doing this it is our actions and our perceived motives that first come into play. We can only open minds, open eyes, and open hearts by gently preparing the way.

From the Cross Jesus taught us that ignorance can affect the imputability and responsibility for sin and even absolve sin when He said; "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". Whenever any of our words or actions causes anyone to recoil in anger, hatred or fear from the Word of God we take on a shared responsibility for their sin because, as Christians, we know better. I pray that you remember this when declaring your own Salvation.

May the Peace and Blessings of Jesus be upon you.

45 posted on 04/19/2012 1:37:45 PM PDT by Natural Law (If you love the Catholic Church raise your hands, if not raise your standards.)
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To: miss marmelstein

“I’ll work myself back one day”

The work has already been done...just go back to HIM!...(no matter what religious persuasion, Catholic or Protestant, that holds the truth for you.)

You don’t have to look beyond the Bride to the “sellers of oil”; she’ll have what you need to prepare for the coming of the groom and the celebration of the wedding to come! For the Bride has the responsibility to see to it that her maidens, attendants, and guests have what they need in order to take part in the marriage supper of the Lamb! Don’t be caught outside and unable to get back in!


46 posted on 04/19/2012 1:40:58 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Christ came not to make man into God but to restore fellowship of the Godhead with man.)
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To: NYer
Jesus said it [the real Presence] was so, what's not to believe?

Some people know the Scriptures better than Jesus does.

Just ask them ... they'll tell you all about it.

47 posted on 04/19/2012 1:41:57 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: NYer

>>He probably did a liturgical dance the Sunday after I left. <<

LOL!!!!


48 posted on 04/19/2012 1:44:39 PM PDT by netmilsmom (I am Breitbart)
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To: NYer
Here's an interesting link where former Catholics tell why they left. Being an ex-Catholic and having gone to parochial school through the 12th grade, I have to agree with them.

Catholics Come Home Commercial
49 posted on 04/19/2012 1:45:07 PM PDT by crosshairs (As long as there is evil, "Coexist" is impossible.)
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To: SnakeDoctor

Amen!


50 posted on 04/19/2012 1:46:18 PM PDT by netmilsmom (I am Breitbart)
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To: Natural Law

Oh that makes me happy!


51 posted on 04/19/2012 1:47:24 PM PDT by netmilsmom (I am Breitbart)
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To: mdmathis6
Thank you for your kind words, but when I go back, I go back as a total Papist, lol! It's the most beautiful, the most intellectual of the Christian faiths. It is very much an aesthetic with me, as well as a faith.
52 posted on 04/19/2012 1:56:10 PM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: Natural Law; RnMomof7; netmilsmom; USS Alaska

“Whenever any of our words or actions causes anyone to recoil in anger, hatred or fear from the Word of God we take on a shared responsibility for their sin because, as Christians, we know better. I pray that you remember this when declaring your own Salvation.”

Simply speaking the truth of Jesus causes many to react out of anger for their darkness does not like the light. So while your words are wise as far as they go; sometimes the person speaking the truth, no matter how softly and gently he speaks them or as boldly forthright as in the case of Paul, that person is going to be accused of being angry, out of touch, worthy to be a censured and killed enemy. So we must be cautious as Christians in the censuring of one another in the speaking of truth...the world itself will always be offended by us; but Christians must remain in control at least in the offending of one another! Remember scripture:John 13:34“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Forget about Protestant and Catholic “ideas’ about what “church” is...the days are darkening and Christians in all churches everywhere...Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, Jewish Messianic are about to have imposed on them what Christ’s idea of what his church should be...persecution may make of all of us very strange bedfellows. Some of the posters on this thread are right...we are all of us going to be very surprised as to what Christ really considers his TRUE church to be! Our minds would be blown away if we could really understand what Christ intends for us; our imaginations could never conceive what is coming!


53 posted on 04/19/2012 2:20:47 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Christ came not to make man into God but to restore fellowship of the Godhead with man.)
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To: Natural Law; RnMomof7; netmilsmom; USS Alaska

“Whenever any of our words or actions causes anyone to recoil in anger, hatred or fear from the Word of God we take on a shared responsibility for their sin because, as Christians, we know better. I pray that you remember this when declaring your own Salvation.”

Simply speaking the truth of Jesus causes many to react out of anger for their darkness does not like the light. So while your words are wise as far as they go; sometimes the person speaking the truth, no matter how softly and gently he speaks them or as boldly forthright as in the case of Paul, that person is going to be accused of being angry, out of touch, worthy to be a censured and killed enemy. So we must be cautious as Christians in the censuring of one another in the speaking of truth...the world itself will always be offended by us; but Christians must remain in control at least in the offending of one another! Remember scripture:John 13:34“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Forget about Protestant and Catholic “ideas’ about what “church” is...the days are darkening and Christians in all churches everywhere...Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, Jewish Messianic are about to have imposed on them what Christ’s idea of what his church should be...persecution may make of all of us very strange bedfellows. Some of the posters on this thread are right...we are all of us going to be very surprised as to what Christ really considers his TRUE church to be! Our minds would be blown away if we could really understand what Christ intends for us; our imaginations could never conceive what is coming!


54 posted on 04/19/2012 2:20:55 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Christ came not to make man into God but to restore fellowship of the Godhead with man.)
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To: miss marmelstein

Christ says he’ll leave “90 and 9 to search for his one lost sheep”...you’ll be in his fold, no matter what temporary ‘pen’ you end up in!


55 posted on 04/19/2012 2:23:55 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Christ came not to make man into God but to restore fellowship of the Godhead with man.)
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To: NYer

I hear you but I have read almost 70% of Catholics no longer believe in the Real Presence.


56 posted on 04/19/2012 2:24:03 PM PDT by MomwithHope (Buy and read Ameritopia by Mark Levin!)
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To: ArrogantBustard

“Some people know the Scriptures better than Jesus does.”

That’s the best, funniest line I’ve read in a long time.

(Back to cleaning computer screen)


57 posted on 04/19/2012 2:25:13 PM PDT by OpusatFR
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To: NYer; Salvation; Tax-chick; Chode

“Many of the respondents commented that, after they left the church, no one from the parish contacted them or reached out to them in any way. “

That is understandable. Makes a person feel unwanted. Was one of 100 reasons I left the Baptist church. Not saying this to bash Baptist FReepers, just merely pointing out it can happen in any church.

“Do unto others......”


58 posted on 04/19/2012 2:25:49 PM PDT by Morgana (I only come here to see what happens next. It normally does.)
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To: RnMomof7

Obama is attacking the Catholic Church in America, no other church. You should stop to think about that. Satan knows the right address. He knows there is only one church he needs needs to worry about. He doesn’t need to worry about the people that left that church. He’s got them already.


59 posted on 04/19/2012 2:29:42 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: MomwithHope
I hear you but I have read almost 70% of Catholics no longer believe in the Real Presence.

So their opinion affected your belief rather than the words of our Savior?

60 posted on 04/19/2012 2:29:49 PM PDT by NYer (He who hides in his heart the remembrance of wrongs is like a man who feeds a snake on his chest. St)
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