Oh, my, a n00b! I’ve only been here a decade, not as long as some, but you have no room to talk. And I see no reason to read anything you post, either, as you don’t have enough information to bolster your credibility.
I sincerely hope, for your sake, that you can repent of this evil, arrogant, hard heart before your time is up on this world. There's no purgatory after death, so repent while you still can. As a tree falls, so shall it lay. Get your heart right with God before it's too late Judith Anne.