I have an honest question, please don’t give the standard answers on this about free will and all that.
The bible teaches us that someday there will be no more sin or crying or tears. Why did God allow us to go through all this? I mean, what if God offered us free will, or gave us a choice to have it removed, that is, the desire to sin at all? I think I would have chose the latter. If your mind immediately thought “well that would be no fun then” that is the sin nature talking, fun is basking in the presense of God saying Holy, Holy, Holy, that is what I want. But I hate myself because of sin, I feel dirty, unworthy, and no all about God’s grace that he covers my sin through Jesus’s blood, but still, I feel lost sometimes, it is a misery to exist for me right now. I would have surely chosen to have my ability to choose removed.
Am I alone?
“Am I alone?”
No. While threads like these can be enlightening, interesting, etc. - I find that in the end they are not all that helpful. Sort of the “how many angels can fit on the head of a pin”.
It helps to get back to the facts.
We live in a sinful world - people do bad things to us.
I am sinful - I do bad things to myself and to others.
I am proud - and push against God and his guidance and direction. ALL the time!
Life is too hard, too much pain, and too much suffering. Would be best to just kill oneself and have it all done with.
That last part is from Satan - and whispered or shouted in my ear many times. That is why the scriptures are so important - and KNOW that GOD LOVES YOU!
I recall the story about a gal. Her husband was killed in Iraq. A child died shortly thereafter. Then she lost the home. Then another child became severely long-term ill. She talked about how she couldn’t understand God, doubted her faith, gave up believing most everything in the Bible - and she threw it all out. Except for the one verse that says something like “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...”
She didn’t understand God. She didn’t understand the Bible, she didn’t even understand this verse. But she said “EVERYHING was gone - and the ONLY thing left was that one verse.” But she held onto its promise.
But perhaps most importantly - know that God loves you.
that's what we're looking at some day. (I don't know if that qualifies as a standard answer or not)
The way I figure it is we have the choice here on earth. When we die, God seals that choice.
Am I alone?
No. I'm looking forward to the day when that old nature isn't dragging me down all the time. And it will be a choice I've made of my own free will.