Dearest PAPA!
We send you greetings from the FRont here and hope all is well in Rome. We should be sharing wonderful news by this point, but alas, times are a little trying right now. We have used the last of our Approved Scripture Arrows. All five of them are gone now. Our quivers are empty as the opposition seems to be standing no matter what is thrown their way. We would appreciate a fast track approval by the Magisterium for more Officially Sanctioned Scripture Arrows. If at all possible...
We've also run out of stale rolls to lob. We would start throwing rocks, but cannot agree on whether they are Petros or Petra. We will await further instruction on that point.
I just really wish we would have kept the stale rolls to eat, as many of us are now forced to eat our own words. Oh, the trials we must endure for Mother. The books of doctrine and tradition are not a great help to us at the moment. They seem to blow around with every wind that arises. [[sigh]]]. We shall survive, though. And the gates of hell shall not prevail against our one and only, first and foremost, unwavering and unending institution of the one billion, nay TWO BILLION STRONG little flock.
P.S. Could you spare a few crackers and some Welch's Grape Juice? We're getting pretty hungry out here...
LOL Common, they haven’t run out of arrows. Their busy making some more out of “new revelation” as we speak.
Just another confirmation that the Reformation is a very pale imitation of the Truth. Thanks.