On Being Embarrassed When Worship Songs Seem Sexual

The Blog of Lisa Colón DeLay ^ | October 19, 2011 | Lisa Colón DeLay

[tlb]

Homer still remembers when he and Marge used to make out to this hymn. Bart hands church goers lyrics and music to a fake hymn called “In The Garden of Eden” by I. Ron Butterfly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4g-wx2Y_wg

[America_Right]

Ignore my above post. I can’t create a link. It was the Simpsons singing Inna Gadda da Vida in church.

[Ransomed]

I rememeber hearing that some Christian Music radio program directors judged the material on JPMs. As in Jesuses per minute. “Good tracks” had high JPMs, becuase if someone was moving through the dial there was a better chance they would hear the word “Jesus”, and the Christian rock fans would know that this station was for them. Otherwise they would flip on past, as the actual songs were normally so bad. Also a long stretch of no Jesus mentions might make some folks change the station, but if they heard the word they might linger on, even if the music stunk.

Don’t know if it’s true or not.

FReegards

[Constitutionalist Conservative]

Then stay away from Song of Solomon

Hymnwriters stayed away from the Song of Solomon for 2,000 years. Which is the point.

[Constitutionalist Conservative]

I’m glad that I’m not the only one bothered by this. Is God truly honored when we view our relationship with Him with imagery that borders on the erotic?

[goat granny]

Your hair is like a flock of goats...

..you have never seen an angora goat. The have the most beautiful white wavy or curly hair of any animal. Silken to touch.

They also originated in the area around Turkey. Check out the pictures of some beautiful ones...I wish I had hair like that and they truly have hair not a fiber like wool.

Mohair...They get sheared twice a year. The OT speaks of the curtain in the temple being made of the finest goat hair....Cashmere is also from a goat but it a fiber that is combed from the animal..

The Song of Solomon is quite erotic, one speaking of all the love including physical that one feels toward their lover.. First time I read it I also felt a little embarrassed... Was use to reading westerns....:O) GG

[MarilynBr]

Yes, that fits for one song that I think is embarrassing. It’s called “Father.” And I’ve heard it sung by a young female singer whose name escapes my memory.

Father I want to be close to You. You alone can understand me. Look inside my heart and find me.

Father I want to be close to You. You alone can satisfy me. Fill the hole that is inside me

I cry with a passionate voice. I long to feel Your intimate touch. It’s You I need so much. I’m empty without You. I am empty without You

[Lee N. Field]

Your love is extravagant Your friendship, it is intimate I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place Your love is extravagant

Eeeech

Exclusive psalmody looks better and better.

[sauropod]

One of the great current tragedies is that all the churches seem to be instituting this “contemporary worship” stuff. Makes my ears bleed.

The wife and I are looking *still* for a “traditional” worship service.

[hiho hiho]

This is part of the continued feminizing of churches. With guitar strumming Casanovas strumming love songs — real males go elsewhere.

[Lee N. Field]

For your contemplation, edification and use, Table Talk Radio's Rev. Brian Wolfmuller's "praise song cruncher":

Criteria for Discerning the Usefulness of Praise Songs

Determining the truth of what someone is saying is impossible if the person isn't actually saying anything. This is the great difficulty of assessing praise songs commonly used in the church. The nature of modern praise songs makes them difficult to make them useful judgments regarding their fitness for use in the church's worship. Often the songs are written in sentence fragments, thought and phrases rather than a regular sentence with an subject, verb and object. Simple questions are often unanswerable: “Who is this talking about?” “What does this mean?” “What is the relationship between one phrase and another?”

When I was a child we would play a game on the 4th of July. Some smarty would take a tub of Vaseline and slather up a watermelon and toss it into the swimming pool. Dozens of kids would try to get it out of the water. Anytime you thought you had a hold of the melon it would squirt out of your arms. This is something of the difficulty in making a clear judgment about such ambiguous lyrics. (Of course this ambiguity is a big part of the problem.)

What is needed, then, is an objective method of judging the usefulness of a praise song for edifying the Lord's church and bringing the comfort of the forgiveness of sins. The following criteria are offered for use in considering the usefulness of praise songs.

Pastor Bryan Wolfmueller
2008

1. Jesus
“Is Jesus mentioned?”
Yes | No
If yes, is it in name or concept?

2. Clarity
Is the song clear? Does it use sentences (with subject, verb, object) or sentence fragments?
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Very clear Obscure

3. Mysticism (Subjectivity vs Objectivity)
Is the song about the things that God has done (objective), or about my own emotions and experiences (subjective)? Does the song repeat the same phrases over and over in an hypnotic mantra?
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Objective Subjective

4. Law and Gospel
Does the song proclaim the law in its sternness and the Gospel in its sweetness? (The Gospel is the promise of the forgiveness of all sins won for us through Jesus' death on the cross.) Are law and Gospel rightly divided (and not mixed up)? Is the law presented as something that we can do, or does it show us our sins? Is the Gospel conditional (based on my actions, decisions, acceptance)?
Yes No I can't tell

5. Is there any explicit false teaching?

[hiho hiho]

5. Is there any explicit false teaching?

I have a problem with this — so non-explicit false teaching is acceptable? A little heresy is okay?

[Jeff Chandler]

I’m disgusted with the whole Disneyfication of the Mass.

[hiho hiho]

I’m disgusted with the whole Disneyfication of the Mass.

Actually, Disney would do it much better. Now “Mickey Mouse” might be a more discriptive term.

[Campion]

If you're Catholic and sick of sappy music at church, see if you can get a schola cantorum going in your parish. Learning to sing chant is not that hard (though it helps to have someone to teach you to read the notation), and there's loads of good chant music in English and Latin available for free on the Internet.

There's no antidote to "Jesus is my boyfriend" crud quite as effective as a male choir chanting psalm texts in Latin. Besides, the propers of the Mass are part of the missal, and are supposed to be sung, not ignored in favor of singing "Glory and Praise to Our God" or "Here I am, Lord" for the 1,697th time.

[Lee N. Field]

a male choir chanting psalm texts in Latin.

Just for grins, because I like this a lot and like to point people to it: acapella congregational singing, Psalm 102. Enjoy.

"An evening shadow are my days,
like grass I wither soon away,
but you Jehovah sit enthroned,
forever your memorial..."

[Lee N. Field]

5. Is there any explicit false teaching?

I have a problem with this — so non-explicit false teaching is acceptable? A little heresy is okay?

I don't think that's a necessary conclusion from what the author said.

[Campion]

Very pretty! Sounds almost Russian Orthodox.

[Jeff Chandler]

Disneyfication

...it was much earlier even than that when most people forgot that that very oldest stories are, sooner or later, about blood. Later on they took the blood out to make the stories more acceptable to children, or at least to the people who had to read them to children rather than children themselves (who, on the whole, are quite keen on blood provided it's being shed by the deserving), and then wondered where the stories went.
— Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

A form of editing, known for often falling into Adaptation Decay, that renders a story "safe" for juvenile audiences (or the parents thereof) by removing undesirable plot elements or unpleasant historical facts, adding Broadway-style production numbers, and reworking whatever else is necessary for a Lighter and Softer Happily Ever After Ending.

[sauropod]

I love guitar music.

Preferably amplified, with the Marshall stacks set to "11".

;-)