You have good questions and seem honest in your inquiries.
I would recommend going to http://mormon.org/ and clicking on “chat online” in the top right corner.
No serious or spirit guided discussion could possibly happen in this forum.
Please let me know how it goes. You can send me a direct message through this board.
Whats the matter pd - you can’t answer these questions on your own? Some NONtestimony from you.