Posted on 03/12/2011 6:35:30 AM PST by RGrizzle
I have been reading “The Life and Diary of David Brainerd”. Truthfully, the book is not the most interesting read. However, I vowed to myself that I would complete it.
The book is simply the daily dairy entries of an early American missionary to the American Indians. I’m not quite half way through the book, but so far the entries sway between two positions. Brainerd struggles with his feelings of unworthiness and distance from God followed by moments when God feels so close.
What fascinates me most about his entries is that Brainerd is often deeply disappointed in how much he has accomplished for God that day. He studies far more than I. He fasts far more than I (For those who have seen me, it is obvious that I am always present when the dinner bell rings). He prays far more than I. Yet he is disappointed in what little he has accomplished for God that day.
“Dear God, Thank you for the example of David Brainerd. Thank You for using the account of his life to question my own level of service. While I know that by Grace I am saved, help me to be never satisfied in my present state. Help me always to question what more can be done in Your service. Amen.”
"Tuesday, Jan. 3. "But my time passes so swiftly, that I am astonished when I reflect on it, and see how little I do." Daivid Brainerd
Philippians 3:13-14 (New King James Version) 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
“But my time passes so swiftly, that I am astonished when I reflect on it, and see how little I do.” Daivid Brainerd
How true, how true.
” ... how much he has accomplished for God that day. He studies far more than I. He fasts far more than I”
Never had much truck with those who’re trying to do things for God that He, Himself, doesn’t seem all that interested in. Brainerd fasts and studies more than author IBT, but research shows that our medeivals (and today’s Islamists) surely studied and fasted (and self-flagellated and self-mutilated) for God more than any three Brainerds. But what can we do for God, other than to do unto others as we would have them...? Our Christian salvation is by faith, and not of works, hayna? Or no?
I think people out in the forefront of work often have struggles like this. In essence, they are “out in the world” often without fellowship. I spoke to a native missionary in Africa who felt God called him to minister (alone) to an enemy tribe who believed in spiritism. They tied him out on a tree to die. He went months without encouragement.
He ended up bearing great fruit, but he had the same “What am I doing here am I crazy” type of questioning.
A few years ago they released Mother Teresas memoirs and the left salivated over them because she expressed doubt in them. It only proves she’s human, IMHO. These people went through huge trials.
And there’s this, today, posted here from DavidJeremiah.org:
“Missionary J. O. Fraser who worked among the Lisu peoples of China once commented about the necessity of waiting on the Lord to do His work without the frantic, panicked rushing about that characterizes much of our labor.
He said: “In the biography of our Lord nothing is more noticeable than the quiet, even poise of His life. Never flustered whatever happened, never taken off His guard, however assailed by men or demons in the midst of fickle people, hostile rulers, faithless disciples—always calm, always collected. Christ the hard worker indeed—but doing no more, and no less, than God had appointed Him, and with no restlessness, no hurry, no worry. Was ever such a peaceful life lived, under conditions so perturbing?”1
The Bible teaches that the fruit of the Spirit is patience. We should do things as efficiently as we can, but in the end so much of life requires waiting on our Lord’s timing. What situation demands your patience today? Remember—He is called the “God of Patience” (Romans 15:5).”
I use to feel the same thing about God being close and then other times it felt like He had abandoned me. As I have matured in my walk with God I have discovered that I was believing a lie. Why it took me so long to figure that out, I don't know. And I wish to never take that long again to learn what I need to know about God. God says, He will never leave us, nor forsake us. End of story. Whether we FEEL like He is near or not, He is still right there, where He was when we were FEELING Him close to us. He never left, or feelings just don't always match up to reality.
right on the money
“But what can we do for God, other than to do unto others as we would have them...? Our Christian salvation is by faith, and not of works, hayna? Or no?”
Well, remember, when Jesus was summing up the commandments, he also said to love God with all your heart. Studying, praying, and fasting are all ways to draw closer to God, so I think that is one way of expressing that love. If you love someone, don’t you want to be as close to them as possible?
I do think the author is a little off-base talking about these things as “accomplishing” something for God. Really, if you are praying, fasting, and studying, wouldn’t it be God that is doing the accomplishing, refining you into a better instrument?
thank you for your insight...and I LOVE your tagline!:)
Thank you and thank you ;)
Works do not save and are to be done for His glory and His glory alone. I am truly thankful for is never ending patience.
God is using David's life to show me a hunger that I do not currently possess. The post, written mainly to me, was a reflection of that. Ultimately, where I am right now is God convicting me to put down the remote and be about His purpose for my life. There is certainly a “Lord of the Harvest”, and that clearly is not me.
Again, thank you all for taking the time to read the post and comments. I appreciated each of the perspectives written.
Works do not save and are to be done for His glory and His glory alone. I am truly thankful for is never ending patience.
God is using David's life to show me a hunger that I do not currently possess. The post, written mainly to me, was a reflection of that. Ultimately, where I am right now is God convicting me to put down the remote and be about His purpose for my life. There is certainly a “Lord of the Harvest”, and that clearly is not me.
Again, thank you all for taking the time to read the post and comments. I appreciated each of the perspectives written.
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