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Posted on 01/02/2011 5:46:30 PM PST by Paragon Defender
JESUS: Hey Smith! Remember that boast you made about doing more than even I had done to hold the 'church' together?
JOSEPH SMITH: Where am I?
JESUS: Don't you remember? A few seconds ago you were in that jail.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah; but where am I NOW?
JESUS: Don't you remember? Does bang - bang ring a bell?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah - that crummy gun I had was about USELESS!
JESUS: I hope you left instructions on how to hold your church together.
JOSEPH SMITH: Dang! I knew there was SOMETHING I was forgetting!
JESUS: Looks like there's a power struggle going on down there.
JOSEPH SMITH: Yeah; there was always SOMEone who wanted the power that I held - especially over the LADIES - wink wink.
JESUS: No need to worry about that now; remember what my friend Matthew wrote down?
JOSEPH SMITH: This? “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30)
JESUS: That's it.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: Nah - it was right.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh well; it was fun while it lasted. My buds will still get it on with the girls.
JESUS: Uh; I'm sorry; in just a few more years; your followers will cavein to the United States government and abandon the 'Eternal Covenant' that you came up with.
JOSEPH SMITH: ME!? YOU are the one that told me to do that!
JESUS: Sorry; but you must have mistranslated what I told you. What part of Do NOT commit ADULTERY did you not understand?
JOSEPH SMITH: mumble....
JESUS: What did you say?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, nothing.
JESUS: Well; it was interesting talking to you; but now I must get back to perparing a place for those who believe in Me.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, yeah; the Celestial Kingdom.
JESUS: No...
JOSEPH SMITH: The Telestial one?
JESUS: Nope.
JOSEPH SMITH: SUREly not the TERRESTRIAL one!!
JESUS: Nope. Didn't you read that the mind of man had NOT conceived of it? Paul wrote it down in 1 Corinthians 2:9.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: No; it wasn't.
JOSEPH SMITH: You SURE?
JESUS: Yes. Now I must be going: what did you say your name was again?
JOSEPH SMITH: Joseph Smith.
JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly FAITHbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.
JOSEPH SMITH: But....
tsk tsk....cozy aren’t they?
I read caucus threads too.
Still mindreading I see; and The GRAT ONE at that. So dumb...
What a bogus non-provable answer. ( Kinda like lot's of mormon lore.)
But FReeper's know EXACTLY what J. Smith and B. Young were about.
Still mindreading I see; and The GREAT ONE at that. So dumb...
Sentinel is correct - mormon spin doctoring in action.
KJV w/ JST foot notes DU?
I have had a bad experience with some Morman elders who have visited me during recent weeks. When I told one on last Sunday, I could no longer be involved with the church because I could not reconcile events of my childhood and their relation to the Morman Church, politics and history. The elder with whom I spoke on the telephone, became quite beligerant and threatening, and closed with a comment like, “well the church is not going to hop in bed with you and your journal”?? I even wondered if he was a real Morman. First visit was with two elders and they asked for a followup visit — the next visit was not with the original elders, one was a strange man who did not identify himself and was a large, scarey individual who said almost nothing. And, at the end of that meeting, the two drove off in a car — not on foot or bicycle as is their custom.
It would drive me nuts to read a caucus thread and not be able to state my opinion. I’ll read something, disagree with it, and then realise I can’t respond.
I do occasionally read a caucus thread if it is on a subject I am interested in. I don’t read the mormon caucus threads, because I have no interest in it.
Wow...I am an easy Mark for LDS...Yes that is what Atheists have told me as well, New Age cults, JW’s...However: They soon realized my faith was *Unshakeable*
The parallel one was put out by the RLDS. around 1979, iirc. Plus I have another one from t2004 but not sure if it is Herald House or not. I can check for you when i am at the office. I also have a digital copy of the first edition.
I would say get several printings of it and compare. $20 per volume is cheap nowadays for any book.
Sorry taht was 1970, not 1979.
You are brave and mortally decieved.
I think you are confusing the Pearl of Great Price with the Bible appendix. Yes, parts of the POGP are large extracts from the JST, but not all of the cross referenced parts are. There are many cross-referenced JST sections that are not in the POGP, but only in the footnotes or the Bible appendix.
Including the one you bring up in Genesis 50. . The footnote "a" in verse 50 points to the Bible appendix with the JST text.
Alas, the link in-line is broken.
No, wait, this time I click it an up pops the "hidden" text. Must be bad Java coding. Took a while for it to pop up.
About the only statement you made that is true is that a complete JST is not available on the LDS site. At least I haven't been able to find it. Otherwise, once again, you accuse falsely.
Now I am pondering if bad Java on the LDS web site is caused by the Word of Wisdom. . .
Proving my point placemarker
deceived
Actually that itself is not true, your very postings give insight into such...
Don't worry, you are not alone, we see it in this pages all the time.
Modern American "Oprah" all paths Christianity has watered down much, focusing only on the most benign sections of Scripture in an efforts to turn Christ into an anything goes hippie...
It has been sadly quite successful
It give such cults as the LDS the perfect folks to play their victim card too.
That you have a tag line bemoaning the concept of appeasement makes it rather ironic...
BTW I would like a little proof before being essentially told I am a hypocrite.
A little hint, you may want to confirm what the bible says about point out false teachings and our responsibilities on defending the faith and body of Christ.
You may also want to bone up on Mormon doctrine...
If you love Christ as much as you seem to you may feel a bit different when you see what they say about our most beloved family member...
You be BRAVE!
Actually that itself is not true, your very postings give insight into such...
Don't worry, you are not alone, we see it in this pages all the time.
Modern American "Oprah" all paths Christianity has watered down much, focusing only on the most benign sections of Scripture in an efforts to turn Christ into an anything goes hippie...
It has been sadly quite successful
It give such cults as the LDS the perfect folks to play their victim card too.
That you have a tag line bemoaning the concept of appeasement makes it rather ironic...
BTW I would like a little proof before being essentially told I am a hypocrite.
A little hint, you may want to confirm what the bible says about point out false teachings and our responsibilities on defending the faith and body of Christ.
You may also want to bone up on Mormon doctrine...
If you love Christ as much as you seem to you may feel a bit different when you see what they say about our most beloved family member...
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