Lurkers: Imagine you're enjoying this Christmas season a card game with friends & family...
...Say Uno...
...Or Crazy 8's...a card game involving a trump card.
We're sitting at the card table w/Paragon Defender. He tells us we need to transcend normal trump card games...
...So he pulls out his fancy deck of cards that on the surface seem professionally produced...but somehow conveys a shoddy product. We say, "OK. we'll try our hand at it."
We start playing. The deck he whips out has printed cards that read...
...Mormon scriptural sources...like "Book of Mormon" & "Pearl of Great Price" & "Doctrine & Covenants" & "Book of Abraham"
...+ "Official Lds Church Curricula"
...+ "Lds Priesthood manuals"
...+ "Official Lds Church Pamphlets"
...+ Books authored by Lds General Authorities -- including their "prophets" and "apostles" -- some published by the Lds church; most not
...+ "Journal of Discourses" of public messages & sermons by Lds General Authorities
Each time we play one of the above cards, PD turns to his laptop & prints out a "fresh" card that actually never varies: It's shaped like a spam can. It reads:
"Unofficial Lds Apologetics Web Sites Trump" card -- or what PD calls his, U.L.A.W.S.T. card.
When we ask for an Official copy of the rules of this game that allows him to treat this card as the "final authority" card; he just smiles and reassures us that this is the omnipotent trump card.
"There's nothing," says P.D. "more potent than Lds Apologetics Web site linkages."
"But Brigham says..."
"No...no..no," PD says, printing another spam card for extra emphasis. "This" -- he says with much pride -- "is the ultimate trump card."
"What?"
"We thought," we say, "that the 'Living prophet' was the ultimate trump card for this game? Wasn't this rule #3 of E.T. Benson's 14 'fundamentals'...that a 'living prophet' trumps a dead prophet?' And rule #2 a 'living prophet' trumps Mormon standard scriptures?"
"Yes, E.T. said that," says PD.
"So?"
"Well," PD says...smiling now. "E.T.'s dead."
I gotcher trump card right here!