You create a false distinction. Grace is most certainly unmerited favor of God given before we ask. But our reception of grace is to the capacity of our faith. He who does not have faith in the Holy Sacraments of the Church, for example, receives next to nil of that unmerited and superabundant grace, and in the case of you Protestants, does so on his own choosing. "Many of his disciples went back; and walked no more with him" (John 6).
Again, the Roman concept of Grace is just not biblical. Grace is not a chunk of spiritual power, stored in a "treasury of merit", dolled out by a priest at a formal ceremony.
Grace is not a power pill with a short half life that aids us in attaining our own justfication.
Grace is God's attitude toward us where He decides to give mercy and favor (UNMERITED) to those who justly deserve punishment and wrath. Grace is being TREATED as if we never sinned, while true JUSTICE demands that we get rightly deserved punishment.
Grace is being forgiven and pardoned by accepting thru Faith the Gift of eternal life, earned by the perfect Lamb slain for sin. God sees us as perfect (In Christ) and treats us such (unmerited favor)! We are His children who are heirs of the Promise. We are seated, positionally, in heaven with Christ. We are Given eternal life, rescued from damnation, no longer under condemnation.
Christ came to save sinners, not the righteous or those who try to justify themselves(The Pharisee and the Publican ). God saved us while we were DEAD in sin.
Grace and Works do not and cannot mix!
Rom 11:5 So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. 6 But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.
Grace, undeserved favorable treatment, is nullified when we try to EARN favorable treatment, because it becomes MERIT. We are seen as rejecting the undeserved favorable treatment (Grace), by trying to EARN IT (merit).
Gal 2:21 I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.
Of course not. With everything you said up to her I agree fully.
Grace, undeserved favorable treatment, is nullified when we try to EARN favorable treatment
We simply do what we are told. We are told to ask for grace ("Our Father") and we are told to do good works (Eph 2:10, amany similar). Works do not earn grace. The Sacraments of the Church are free for the asking. You don't earn them, either.