Most of my friends didn’t know any Christians, IRL. Seriously, in Grad school I was an anomaly. And stereotypes are often rooted in some truth, but don’t underestimate the propaganda that is out there.
And I do know a few of those who claim to be Christians and don’t ‘walk the walk’ but I also question their relationship with God. There are far many more people who CLAIM to be Christians but are only nominal Christians at best. That is a problem in the Church today that bothers me.
AFA, how I come across, LOL. I have been called every name in the book by posters here on FR, and attacked for gently speaking the Gospel to the LDS. I have had LDS state I am arrogant and I have had LDS who don’t even consider me an ‘anti’. There is some perception differences on the other end even if my behavior is the same.
But, I do get your point.
I think there's probably a further point to be made, that to some extent addresses this aspect of the problem.
You'll have noticed that a lot of the religious debate here and elsewhere essentially proceeds from an assumption that everybody is more or less Christian in outlook -- the purpose of debate is mainly to settle the doctrinal issues.
Not just "everybody" as in "involved in the debate," but literally everybody, as in "people with whom one is likely to come into contact in their daily life and work." This goes back to the old idea of "Christendom," wherein Christian belief and practice hold near-universal authority across a vast geographical region.
But from a religious standpoint at least, "Christendom" doesn't really exist anymore. With that in mind, we can begin to make distinctions. How would Jesus operate in that sort of environment? We already know the answers: the Gospels tell of a world where those conditions actually existed.
Jesus certainly took part in vigorous doctrinal debate with the religious authorities of the day. But that's because (at least nominally) they agreed on the underlying basis of their debates.
But by comparison, look at His approach to common people, non-Jews in particular. It was far more gentle and understanding, even as He told them hard truths about themselves. (The Samaritan woman at the well is an excellent example.)
The world we live in, and the people we need to reach, are of the latter sort. We must deal with them differently: doctrine is very much a secondary concern. Jesus did not preach doctrine.
And yet, how often do we see ourselves spouting doctrine instead of the Gospel message? And how strident do we get, when somebody presumes to question the "obvious" truth of our own particular doctrines?
Maybe it's time we took a harder look at the message we're actually sending....