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I'm so glad you had a nice Independence Day, dear brother in Christ!

People are so . . . we are so . . . fickle and doubtful so often of so much when God would have us much otherwise—trusting Him fully in all things.

Truly, the Hebrews whined for flesh until God was angry with them and gave them flesh until they choked on it (Numbers 11:18-20). And they whined for earthly kings/judges until God was angry with them and gave them a lineage of notoriously fallible men (I Sam 8:6-9)

And I see the same thing in Moses' whining for God to appoint someone else to speak for Him. He made God angry and Moses and all the people ended up with an ecclesiastical body, a system of religious authorities and intermediaries (Exodus 4:10-17).

Each time they whined they were insulting God, they were saying they didn't believe Him or they didn't trust Him. Each time God was angry. And in each case He gave them what they were whining for so much so they choked on it.

It did not need to be that way.

Of course, Moses became spiritually wise and trusted God. But the people still couldn't bear to see his face, they couldn't bear even being indirectly close to God - so Moses wore a veil.

And it came to pass, when Moses came down from mount Sinai with the two tables of testimony in Moses' hand, when he came down from the mount, that Moses wist not that the skin of his face shone while he talked with him. And when Aaron and all the children of Israel saw Moses, behold, the skin of his face shone; and they were afraid to come nigh him.

And Moses called unto them; and Aaron and all the rulers of the congregation returned unto him: and Moses talked with them. And afterward all the children of Israel came nigh: and he gave them in commandment all that the LORD had spoken with him in mount Sinai. And [till] Moses had done speaking with them, he put a vail on his face. - Exodus 34:29-33

But because of what Christ has done, our relationship with God is direct and personal. We need no veils, no system of intermediaries, no earthly kings and judges.

Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost. And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; - Matt 27:50-51

But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, [even] Christ; and all ye are brethren. And call no [man] your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven. Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, [even] Christ.

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. - Matthew 23:8-12

Love God. Believe Him. Trust Him.

I think your insights on all that are fresh and anointed, Angel-Gal.

It is a moving thing for me to prayerfully ponder . . . and, as you may recall in the midst of one of my growing edges . . .

being TRAINED, TAUGHT, CONDITIONED the first 18-40 years or more of my life to avoid trusting any authority figure—particularly father figures as well as a list of other sorts of characters . . .

YET, NEEDING; DESPERATELY WANTING TO TRUST GOD MORE;

YET FAILING UTTERLY TO BE ABLE TO *FORCE* MYSELF TO DO SO.

VERY FRUSTRATING. SOMETIMES DESPAIRINGLY SO.

Add to that seemingly several critical experiences where I did manage to trust God way above average . . . only to hear wrong enough or mis-perceive enough that AT THE TIME, IT APPEARED THAT like all other father figures, Father God Almighty Himself couldn’t be trusted any better/more than the rest of them.

THAT HEART FEELING—regardless of how much one says it’s not true in one’s head—IS REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYY A DESPAIRING FEELING.

It is an easy thing—usually—for me to TRUST GOD WHEN IT IS EMPHATICALLY SUPER 100% CLEAR THAT HE HAS SPOKEN. HIS WRITTEN WORD IS MOSTLY a LOT easier for me to trust and justifiably so.

Though even there, because of the above sorts of life experiences and trainings from an early age . . . some of the Scriptures are easy to say YES in my head and yet doubt still in my heart. That, too is very frustrating.

IF YOU HAVE ANY HELP for such a flawed one as I, I’d greatly appreciate it.

LUB , SISTER IN THE LORD.