Top 15 Ways To Mess Up a Marriage

Aggie Catholics ^ | 6/10/2010 | Marcel LeJeune

[markomalley]

I decided that I would do another "How To Mess Up" list and offer:

Top 15 Ways To Mess Up A Marriage

1. Have Premarital Sex - This can be with your future spouse or not. Regardless, the statistics show that it means a much higher chance of a failed marriage.
2. Cohabitate - This doubles your chance of divorcing your spouse well over 60%! Go with this one if you almost certainly want to mess up a marriage.
3. Cheat on your spouse - This can be with a real person or with porn. Either messes up a marriage.

4. Drink too much or use drugs - This one is a great way to love a thing more than your spouse.
5. Marry a non-Christian - Now, there are certainly marriages that succeed between believers and non-believers, but at the least you are putting a big strain on a relationship.
6. Marry for the wrong reasons - Marrying someone because you have strong emotions about them (which will eventually go away) or because they are good looking (which won't last) is a great way to eventually ruin a marriage.
7. Never Work on Communication - talking is over-rated. You should just learn to tolerate one another, not really communicate.
8. Be a Workaholic - being rich and successful is the most important thing on earth. Right?
9. Be selfish - expect your spouse to serve your every need and never expect to return the favor.

10. Have Different expectations about money or debt - Spend too much, live beyond your means, and then pay the price. Money is the #1 reason that couples argue.
11. Don't tithe - The money is your own, do what you want with it.
12. Use contraception - kids are a burden that make life miserable. Why take the risk? Of course couples that use NFP are happier, have better sex-lives, and stay married more than 95% of the time.
13. Talk negatively about your spouse - who needs to be built up anyway?
14. Make big purchases without talking about it first - want that new car? Go get it!

15. Spend more time with your friends than your spouse - they are probably more fun anyway.

This list is not exhaustive. You could be inventive and come up with another way to mess up a marriage. If you have one, let me know. We did this previously and got some additional ideas I posted here.

[Miztiki]

That’s called being passive-aggressive, and it can kill a relationship.

It’s much better to just be honest and tell her that you’re not interested in such drivel, without being a jerk about it.

If she’s the type to get upset with your honesty then she has a problem too, one that can also kill a relationship.

[BenKenobi]

How is it responsible for them to kill their kids?

[Grunthor]

Who said anything about anyone killing kids?

[BenKenobi]

You raise the kids that come along. The pill is an abortifacient. The responsible choice is to accept that if you are married, you are going to have a family and children to raise.

[Grunthor]

“The pill is an abortifacient.”

Condoms are not.

“The responsible choice is to accept that if you are married, you are going to have a family and children to raise.”

I am getting married in just over two weeks. We will not be having children.

[wbill]

That’s called being passive-aggressive Is it really? I don't know about that sort of stuff.

and it can kill a relationship We just celebrated 15 years together. I'll keep that in mind.

It’s much better to just be honest "Yes honey, that does make you look fat." LOL! I'd love to meet your spouse, they must be incredibly passive, patient, thick-skinned, or all three combined. The world revolves around little white lies. (..."No, I don't mind working late again. Of course I will!" ..."Sure, I don't mind spending the weekend at your mother's instead of going fishing with the guys." ..."Another romantic comedy? Fantastic!") Too much honesty gets the messenger shot. Always.

If she’s the type to get upset with your honesty then she has a problem too A wise man once told me to carefully pick the hills that I wanted to fight on. I'm incredibly honest when it comes to things that are important.... Kids. New house/job/car/etc. Budget/money. Any decision that's significantly life-changing. "America's Next Top Reality TV Series" (or whatever it was) ain't worth it. And, getting beck to the whole "honesty" thing, next disagreement that we have, I'll mention to her that it's she who has the problem with my honesty. We'll see how that one flies.

But, thanks for the advice. I know that you meant well by it.

[BenKenobi]

May I ask why?

[Grunthor]

I’m 41, she’s 38. Our children from previous marriage are 20, 18 amd 14. The 14 y/o is hers. we will be finishing raising her and then BRING ON THE GRANDKIDS, lol.

But even if that wasn’t enough, I got a vasectomy 8 years ago.

[BenKenobi]

My apologies then!

Blessings to you and yours.

[Biggirl]

Is in a long term relationship for nearly 20 years, I am a Catholic Christian and my SO is a Christian from another church. We have learned to love and accept each other based on common Bible based Christian traditions and we do a weekly Bible study.

What surprises me was the issue of marrying Christian who is not Catholic, and any possible stresses involved.

[GCC Catholic]

One other point, there was a point earlier about “not living beyond your means” when it is a well known fact that it is quite expensive to raise a child and unless you can afford to have a child every year and raise them all, you should probably take some responsibility for yourself.

That is the purpose of Natural Family Planning - cheap, effective, and without any of the harmful effects of contraception.

[Rocky]

You could Freep several hours a night, and see how that works.

[Grunthor]

What is Natural Family Planning?

[Grunthor]

And what harmful affects do condoms pose?

[MichiganConservative]

Great list! Now if I could only find a man who thinks this way...

Maybe they all decided to forgo marriage after a cost/benefit analysis.

[Richard Kimball]

Interesting list, a little slanted towards religion and not everyone is religious but that does not mean their marriage will fail.

The list was on a site called "Aggie Catholics," which means it is for Christians. The Church expects Christ to be at the center of your life. Your complaint is kind of like complaining that the articles at a Dallas Cowboys fan site talk too much about the Cowboys.

[CIB-173RDABN]

It was a comment, not criticism.

To be honest, I seldom note where the article is posted. Perhaps I should but I don’t

I thought the article had a lot of good points.

[weef]

16. Have a threesome with your wife and some lesbian/bisexual co-worker of your wife.

Evidently that is an epidemic around me since I've heard of that scenario breaking up two marriages in the last few years.

[Trillian]

Bookmark

[leda]

perhaps ;)