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Holy Mary,
help those in need, [NOT GOD'S--MARY'S HELP IS SOUGHT.]
give strength to the weak, [NOT GOD GIVE--MARY GIVE STRENGTH. I guess Mary told Holy Spirit to take a hike?]
comfort the sorrowful, [Again, Mary must have told Holy Spirit to take a hike, she'd take care of the comforting from now on.]
pray for God’s people,
assist the clergy, [NOT GOD--MARY is to assist the clergy. Obviously more rest for Holy Spirit cooling His heels. Maybe He's now helping the angels with the Heavenly dishes or laundry?] intercede for religious.
Mary all who seek your help [NOT GOD'S HELP--MARY'S. I guess Mary told even The Father that HE was too busy and ought to take a nap!] experience your unfailing protection. [NOT GOD'S. NOT CHRIST'S. NOT HOLY SPIRIT'S. NOT EVEN THE GUARDIAN ANGEL'S PROTECTION--BUT SUPER-MARY'S! All Heaven must be in a perpetual vacation since the caricatured pseudo-Mary personage's arrival!] Amen. [That's good. That was quite enough blasphemy in one prayer!]

Morning Consecration to Mary

My Queen, My Mother, I offer
myself entirely to thee. [I'm sure that Father, Son and Spirit are gleeful that you've got nothing left over for them.
And to show my devotion to thee, [Hmmmm . . . devoted husband . . . devoted wife . . . OK . . . however . . . how is it we read so many 10's of thousands of sentences about all this DEVOTION to Mary and so few about such DEVOTION to Christ, Father, Spirit?
I offer thee this day, my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my heart, my whole being without reserve. [WOW! HOW COULD IT BE ANY PLAINER??? There's OBVIOUSLY nothing left over for Father, Son, Spirit! DAILY, YET!]
.
Wherefore, good Mother, as I am thine own, keep me, guard me as thy property and possession. [Wellllllll, ALMIGHTY FATHER GOD, Sorry, yet again, there's nothing left over for you. Nor for your Only Begotten, Crucified Son. Nor for Holy Spirit. Maybe Mary will ask Joseph to donate a few of his HOLY SAINTLY toenail clippings to y'all as a consolation prize.]
Amen.

PRAISE GOD FOR THAT! There was MORE THAN ENOUGH blasphemy in that one!

Prayer to Our Lady of Czestochowa

O Mother of God, Immaculate Mary, to thee do I dedicate my body and soul, all my prayers and deeds, my joys and sufferings, all that I am an all that I have. [Yet again, Almighty God, Son, Spirit lose out on the hearts and minds distribution. Maybe if they are desperately hungry for fellowship and some cheap adoration, St Joseph would let them help him with the Heavenly laundry.]

With a joyful heart I surrender [Now just where is the Scripture about us surrendering ourselves to anyone but God?] myself to thy love. To thee will I devote my services of my own free will for the salvation of mankind, and for the help of the Holy Church whose Mother thou art. [And here I thought The Bible said that CHRIST WAS HEAD OF CHRIST'S BODY UNIVERSAL. I guess He hasn't gotten around to rewriting that part after Mary's Heavenly arrival.]

From now on my only desire is to do all things with thee, through thee, and for thee.
[SOOOOOOOOO, CHRIST WAS JOKING when He said, APART FROM !!!!ME!!!! YOU CAN DO NOTHING??? I guess He hasn't gotten around to that Scriptural rewrite, either.

I know I can accomplish nothing by my own strength, whereas thou can do everything that is the will of thy Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ.
[That's a sweet milk-sop. Nice of them to stoop to such a bother!]

Thou are always victorious. [NOT GOD THE FATHER. NOT THE SON. NOT HOLY SPIRIT BUT . . . WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY UP IN THE SKY--SUPER-MARY!]

Grant, therefore, O Helper [NOT GOD, NOT THE SON, NOT THE SPIRIT--MARY'S TO GRANT. MARY'S TO BE THE HELPER. Holy Spirit can just cool HIS heels again.] of the Faithful, that my family, my parish, and my country might become in truth the Kingdom where thou reignest in the glorious presence God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, forever and ever. Amen.

Prayer to Our Lady of Fatima

Ahhhhhhh, yes. Gotta throw the UFO critter hoax in here to boost the goddess factor some more. What a surprise--not.

O Most Holy Virgin Mary, Queen of the most holy Rosary, you were pleased to appear to the children of Fatima and reveal a glorious message. We implore you, inspire [NOT BY INSPIRATION OF HOLY SPIRIT--NO! BY INSPIRATION OF SUPER-MARY! Holy Spirit can cool HIS feet again.] in our hearts a fervent love for the recitation of the Rosary. By meditating on the mysteries of the redemption that are recalled therein may we obtain the graces and virtues that we ask, through the merits of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Redeemer.
Amen.

The Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help or sought your intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word incarnate, despise not my petitions, but, in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen.

Yet again, Super Mary puts the Heavenly God-head and all the Heavenly hosts on vacation while she takes care of everything.

Quite a gig. I'm sure ST Joseph is quite impressed and all slobbery grovelly at her feet as well.

/mild sar