I’m still fairly raw and punchy about some of all this.
I’ll try and get back to you with more sensible & thoughtful replies maybe tomorrow.
I’m praying for you, Quix. Give it all to the Lord, even when you don’t understand the purpose of his plan. Trust that God’s word will not return unto him void, but will accomplish all that he wills it to. You are NOT responsible for the outcome, dear brother in Christ, that is the Holy Spirit’s job. He is faithful, merciful and eager for all to come to the knowledge of the truth of the gospel. We sometimes plant, sometimes we water, but God gives the increase! Do not get discouraged.