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I don't believe I've committed spiritual suicide, for I still recognize that it is Christ who is doing the doing in the sacraments. What I reject is the idea that it isn't a discipline to allow Christ to do that work. I've had enough days where I haven't wanted to go to church, or wanted to read Scripture or wanted to confess my sin to know that none of them are an entirely passive experience. At the end of the day I have to decide to receive God's grace or I don't receive it. Put another way, I can only receive what I choose to receive. Does God do the sanctifying through the sacraments? Of course. But there's no sanctifying if I don't decide to receive Christ through His means.

As for the Pharisee, his sin was puffed up knowledge through reading the Scriptures; not failing to recognize that it is God working through the Scriptures that matters.

I don't believe you've done spiritual suicide either. However, we've both got errors and it takes very little error to lead to much bigger problems (like much of the church growth movement forgets that the Gospel is repulsive to the world, which can lead to the watering down or abandonment of the Gospel). But the will to receive God's grace comes from God, too (Phil. 2:13). Scripture is clear that we are at enmity with God, it is solely he who draws us.