The whole psycho-dynamics of the Clergy — Laity thing is interesting and sometimes troubling. It’s also a real opportunity for growth on everybody’s part.
At least some of the same transactional stuff goes on whenever “card-carrying expert” encounters lay person. When I used to go out to shear small flocks I noted some of the same dependent/counter-dependent stuff I used to get when I was a clergyman.
What does one do, what do you do as a shrink, when you see that this client really has a NEED to adopt a dependent position. You can’t just blow him off. He’ll just go find somebody else to be dependent on. He’ll keep looking for someone who will enable him to avoid insight.
The only loving thing (if one has a PRAYER of having the skill and wisdumb) is patiently, slowly, carefully, prayerfully to try to comment on what’s going on until the picture comes together in the client’s mind, right? You’ve got to take the risk of allowing attachments (transference) to form to hold the client close enough to make abandoning the task almost as uncomfortable as accomplishing it.
IF you do that, somebody will say you’re making people dependent on you. If you don’t do it you won’t be much good to the client.
If you do that, you run the risk of crashing and burning. If you don’t do that, then what use has your life been anyway?
When I tell the joke about “Be quiet, I’m talking to your mother,” I’m looking around to see who doesn’t laugh. That just MIGHT be somebody on the verge of taking a step closer to Jesus. Maybe I can offer my arm for him to lean on.
EXCELLENT WISDOM AND TRUTH in your post.
Thanks.
I quite agree.
I do wonder . . . in all congregations of all flavors . . . how many of the leadership folks are any healthier than the dependent rank and file.
It can be chronically dreadful on all sides.
Punch line is: "Pepperlepep, dumme Blae, halt de Schnuten un lat de Möhme kühren!"
"Fiddle faddle, you silly brat, hold your tongue and let your mother speak!"