Paul was a man too. I began my path to salvation as both an agnostic and a cynic. I read many of the religious books of the world and rejected most because someone would say "God spoke exclusively to me and only I can tell you what he said", often in exchange for prestige, power, perquisites and pay. Jesus was the difference. The life example of Jesus was radically different and caused those who had or coveted the 4Ps enough angst to have Him killed. I am no longer agnostic, but there is still some cynic in me so I rely on the hierarchy.
I appreciate your honesty