Heavenly Father we ask that you focus your grace and love on Rush Limbaugh who has helped our country so much and given us all hope when it appeared we had no reason for it, and been polite to his many venal detractors with yellow gnashing teeth, and had that bake sale for that nice but poor guy, and continued to love football in spite of the NFL idiots, and gave our aching backs the Sleep Train auto-adjustable bed.
And help Rush to independently see the error of his past gustatory and cigar ways, and banish the nicotine stains from his fingers forever. And please, Lord, let it work out for him and the new hot babe, cuz Rush has had a few strikes here, OK?
And please preserve and protect this one, because if anyone gives him just one chance he always shows that he’s just a really great guy, and he believes so strongly in you, even though he doesn’t make a big deal about it on the air.
And on the day you really must take him, Lord, which for our sake needs to be no sooner than 50 or so years, please join him with his lawyer father, that he may speedily see what a really huge deal he has become, how many more people he has helped by not going to some liberal college and becoming yet another lawyer, OK? And maybe let them fly P-51’s together up there, because that aircraft is just totally amazing.
In the Lord’s name we pray, amen.
Dittos