***Paging Mr. Kierkegaard, Mr. Soren Kierkegaard, please go to the nearest courtesy phone...:o)***
“Ethel the Frog”
SUBTITLE: ‘HARRY “SNAPPER” ORGANS’
Organs: Doug and Dinsdale Piranha now formed a gang, which the called ‘The Gang’ and used terror to take over night clubs, billiard halls, gaming casinos and race tracks. When they tried to take over the MCC they were for the only time in their lives, slit up a treat. As their empire spread however, we in Q Division were keeping tabs on their every move by reading the colour supplements.
Presenter: A small-time operator who fell foul of Dinsdale Piranha was Vince Snetterton-Lewis.
Cut to Vince in a chair in a nasty flat.
Vince: Well one day I was sitting at home threatening the kids, and I looked out of the hole in the wall and sees this tank drive up and one of Dinsdale’s boys gets out and he comes up, all nice and friendly like, and says Dinsdale wants to have a talk with me. So he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to Dinsdale’s. And Dinsdale’s there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and a couple of film producers and a man they called ‘Kierkegaard’, who just sat there biting the heads of whippets and Dinsdale says ‘I hear you’ve been a naughty boy Clement’ and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out, and I said my name’s not Clement and then he loses his temper and nails my head to the floor.
Interviewer: (off-screen) He nailed your head to the floor?
Vince: At first, yeah
Monty, hang up, I paged Soren. Is he anywhere around where you can't see him, by the way?