The problem is not being 'holier than thou' - and you might hesitate before accusing others of that, isn't that itself 'holier than thou'? (you can go round and round with that one - relativism in disguise) - but being aware of abuses of the liturgy.
It's one thing to have music that is familiar and consistent with the traditions of the congregation -- quite another to have innovation just for the sake of innovation. Rome has made it quite clear that things that are appropriate culturally are one thing (dancing in Africa for example), while adopting things that are inappropriate culturally is wrong.
What we have seen in ordinary suburban American parishes is an almost frantic adoption of multi-culti, exhibitionist practices that are not holy or conducive to worship but completely foreign to the tradition. Many times they come straight from Hollywood and Broadway and pop or rock music.
Many of us call for a turning back to the older traditions of a quiet, reverent Mass, chant, Renaissance polyphony and traditional hymns as a counterweight to what Kipling called "The Lust for Newness". It's not holier than thou, but a desire for holiness that drives this.
It's a real shame when the Sacrifice of the Mass and the Real Presence are hidden by raucous pop music, glad-handing, and failure to abide by the norms.
Music and reverent celebration by themselves mean nothing, of course. As I said before, the Episcopalians are a bunch of screaming heretics, but in some quarters they retain the knowledge of good music and even reverent celebration.
Still, it seems to me a real shame when the Episcopalians 'get it', but Catholics don't abide by the Holy Father's explicit directions for reverence in music and liturgy, and even worse don't abide by the actual instructions of VCII but some goofy idea of the 'spirit of VCII' which is just their own inclinations.
I truly appreciate and agree with your commentary. Thanks for the post and ping.