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Sometimes, it seems, like RC’s like to have their cake and eat it too.

It might sound that way. But I think the Church's expression is a reflection of the Lord's infinite JUSTICE and infinite MERCY. They seem to be in conflict, but they are not. The justice part comes in because the Church rightly asserts there is ONE, SINGULAR, UNIFYING TRUTH of Christianity, and strongly rejects relativism. Christ promised He would always be with us, and that He would not leave us like orphans. Teaching authority for objective scriptural truth must therefore be founded on something rock solid, or else Christ was not telling the truth. The See of Peter and his successors is the most obvious "rock" for the maintenance of the Lord's Deposit of Faith. At the same time, the Lord is infinitely merciful, and surely would not submit to eternal damnation someone who was sincerely seeking Him, but somehow didn't pass the theology exam. Both sides of the issue are expressions of the Truth of the Lord, both in his infinite Justice and infinite Mercy. They seem to be contradictory, but actually it's a paradox in which both the mercy and justice of the Lord are in perfect harmony and infinitely Good.

Not the construction on reality I find in the Bible.

A mixture . . . can actually be seductively deadly.

In all “Christian” and Christian groups.