Trying to be a tough and wise old codger, are you! LOL.
I laugh.
However, the principles are quite important. And you are right and Biblical to hang tough. Eternal lives hang in the balance.
Of course, the wail is that
THE LOVING THING TO DO
is to do whatever's loving and only whatever's loving FROM the LOVED ONE'S PERSPECTIVE.
That's a wise general tack in a marriage. GENERALLY.
Nevertheless, even in a marriage, there comes a time to say . . .
You can kick and scream and rant and rave and insist that IF I loved you, I'd give you chocolate instead of vanilla. Nevertheless, I happen to know that on this score, in these contexts, I MUST give you vanilla instead of chocolate IF I LOVE YOU--WHICH I DO. Perhaps, in due course, God will enable you to see vanilla as the most loving option. If not, I must still stand only with vanilla in my outstretched hand. Of course, you can let it melt and fall to the ground . . . and bear the fruit of that, before God. My loving duty is still clear to me, and I will, by His Grace be toughly loving enough to fulfill it to the letter and to The Spirit.
Of course, it is the nature of "Cold Pricklies" to resist "warm fuzzies." Otherwise, they might be at risk of having to relinquish some of their Cold Prickliness. And when their identity is tooooooooooooo deeply, thoroughly, broadly wrapped up in BEING a COLD PRICKLY, that's a VERY frightufl prospect.
Us Attachment Disordered characters know about such things . . . if we have been broken enough and taught well enough. . . which usually requires ears to hear and eyes to see.
BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD.
To God be the glory!