You know, RJR_fan, I've been a Catholic since I was baptized at the age of 6 weeks.
I do not recognize myself, or my faith, or any aspect of my spiritual life at present, in your post at all. It's like you are writing about some sort of alternate, warped, backwards, un-real reality.
To the extent that I recognize my spiritual life at any stage of my life in your post (which isn't much), that's because I was poorly catechized. (Which is partly the church's fault but also my parents'.)
Mary is exalted precisely, and exactly, because she said to the angel, "I am the handmaid of the Lord ... Let it be done unto me as you say".
If there was any doubt, in John 2 she points to her Son and says "Do whatever he tells you.".
Does those sound like "escape clauses" to get away from God's authority to you? Autosoteriology? No, it's the complete opposite: "Let it be done unto me as you say." Any attempt to treat Mary as some sort of alternative path to heaven hits a stone wall at that, which is why the idea is not merely impossible, but unrecognizably meaningless.
You know, we are all limited by our perspectives. Yet without our perspectives, we would not see anything. As I told my adult son once, "The world is really an interesting place when you see it from the inside of my head." Color me weird, if you wish, but don't forget to color me grateful to the God Who made His salvation known to me.