The rationalization is, "I am having fun, fun is being had, we're both here, so 'we're' just having fun." The reality is,"I'm the only person whose emotions count."
When, as is rare, the victims of this abuse rise up and attack their attacker, the attacker puts on a self-pity act. Attacking HIM is on an entirely different moral level from his attacking them. After all HIS feelings MATTER.
To me one of the most obvious red flags of all is when somebody sows anger and pain and then claims "we were just having fun." As far as I'm concerned, that kind of statement is virtually a diagnostic case closer.
Ooops
So what is the clinical name for that pathology, Dawg?