A traditionalist understands the Church is not a democracy, has never been a democracy, and never will be a democracy. If that is something you can’t accept, there are many alternative Christian sects available that will welcome and celebrate your view of equality.
It’s not a democracy, you’re right. That’s one of the reasons the Catholic Church in the United States is dying. It’s a kind of authority not embraced in our society, for better or worse.
I’m happy in my parish for the moment, and still have hope for my Church, a seriously flawed entity (surely we can all agree on that one), but one full of many good people.
The Catholic Church has adapted to society throughout its history, though often at a slow pace. If you think otherwise, you’re kidding yourself.