“For by grace are you saved through faith; and not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast”. That is what the thief did and it was accounted unto him for righteousness ....”
I could post scores of Scripture references that talk about the importance of “works”...I think the problem is the misunderstanding of works...was not the thiefs defense of Jesus works? Wasn’t his faithful prayer to Him, works?
“without the tortuous machinations of “exceptions” that only devalue the justice of God.”
Jesus Christ’s words to the thief are hardly machinations, but Truth. No man can devalue God’s justice.
Matthew says both thieves ridiculed Jesus. Mark and John do not mention the thieves saying anything. Luke says that one thief, by his comments, evidenced that he finally recognized Jesus for who he was and defended him, but that defense came after he believed. It wasn't the works that saved, but the belief. The justice of God demands that all sinners be treated the same way as far as salvation is concerned. If there are exceptions, even one, then God is capricious, not just. It leaves open the argument that those who never heard the gospel, or culturally disbelieved because of nurture should have another chance or have an exception to the plan of salvation thus devaluing the death of Jesus.
“The Calvinist approach I’ve seen here is that of some shabby lawyer looking for a loophole in some shabby rental agreement.”
Insult is an awkward homage which inferiority renders to merit. If you don't have the facts in your favor, use ridicule and insult.