Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . The Contrarian Preterist-REPLACEMENTARIAN-Premil-Postmil ALICE-IN-WONDERLAND-SCHOOL OF MANGLED MATRIX THEOLOGY HAS SPOKEN!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE, HEAR YE! From thenceforth . . . in the land of living mortal humans . . . unless you draw a red card in the presence of the Red Queen . . . or a Black card in the presence of the Red Queen's jokester . . . in which case an alternate universe upens up . . . and that is covered in the Appendix part C subsection 3,742.5 written in the Classic Gobbledygook of Classic REPLACEMENTARIANS . . .
But for our Sunday School class today, we must concern ourselves with PROPER PONTIFICAL PREPOSTEROUS RUBBER BIBLE DOCTRINES OF THE SACRED SECT OF REPLACEMENTARIANS et al.
Our CARDINAL DOCTRINE OF FOCUS for today is that THENCEFORTH, UNLESS YOU HAVE A ROOM DEDICATED IN YOUR HOUSE TO A PARTICULAR RUBBER BIBLE BIBLICAL PRINCIPLE, YOU CANNOT PUT ANY FAITH IN SAID PRINCIPLE.
For example, without a room built and dedicated to SALVATION, you can't depend on SALVATION by Christ's Blood or any other. Our Sacred Order of Magicsterical Prissy Pontificals decrees it. [thankfully, God disagrees--read the authentic UNRUBBERIZED Bible].
AND, UNLESS you have a room dedicated and built totally and only in honor of and in the service of BAPTISM--IMMERSION, OF COURSE--UNLESS the Red Queen is present. Or, unless Humpty Dumpty falls on his left side and cracks his left skull . . . then Baptism just has no influence on your spirituality or being buried and resurrected with Christ, whatsoever.
And, unless you have a room in your home built and dedicated totally and only to PRAYER, THEN, the prayer of any level of righteous person cannot amount to much in your home or family. Zip, nada, nothing. May as well not pray--useless without that room.
And, while I realize that REPLACEMENTARIANS think that healing went out when John ran out of ink at the end of Revelation, if not before . . . just to be certain folks get the point, the REPLACEMENTARIAN MAGICSTERICAL has decreed that without a room in your home totally and only dedicated to healing, all prayers for healing will be laughably snickered at in Heaven and avail absolutely nothing.
And, unless you have a room build in your home totally and only dedicated to DOING JUSTICE, LOVING MERCY AND WALKING HUMBLY WITH GOD--such efforts as those will bring absolutely no spiritual benefit to you or anyone else. Zip, nada, bu dong xi.
And, unless you have a room built and totally dedicated only to the use and honor of The Lord's Supper, partaking thereof will be considered a vain repetition of absolutely no spiritual benefit without the room.
And, unless you have a room built totally dedicated only to worship . . . all such efforts are a stench in God's nostrils and a clanging out of key gong in His ears.
. . .
The REPLACEMENTARIAN ALICE IN WONDERLAND SCHOOL OF THEOLOGY'S MAGICSTERICAL HAS SCREECHED. SO BE IT!
/sar