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You are writing: I don't think God ever ignores - is unknowing about - any of His creation. All the time, "His eye is on the sparrow," and rumor has it that you are of more worth than many sparrows. So I'll need help with what you might mean by God ignoring me.

You were writing: “I try to hang around Him as much as He lets me.” I am not understanding this. God is limiting your access to Him? He is saying to you “not now” ? Or He is not saying to you anything at all? In my thinking this would be God abandoning the person to Satan. I am thinking that would be putting a person into temptation, much harder for the person to remain loyal, very lonely for the person. Would that not be leading the person into temptation? A person might always wonder is God with me? The devotion of the person to God would never be completely because the devotion of God to the person would never be completely?

He is slowly teaching me to choose Him every minute - using both positive and negative reinforcement. And that's kind of where the physical Therapy image comes back in. You know those therapists HURT you! They cause you PAIN! But it's easy to believe that they are doing it to help heal the wounded part of you. I tink GO is doing something like improving my strength and range of motion. And sometimes it hurts. That's when the erotic images, the wooing and courtship language comes into play.

I am thinking very different from you. God is Love. God does not create pain for us to learn, we are experiencing pain because it is a consequence of we are fallen, and we are easy target for Satan. When we are stopped listening to Satan and we are started listening to God, we canot respond without pain. We have let Satan break us. I am thinking that what you are calling pain and negative reinforcement from God is the pain we are feeling as Satan is pulling us to return to him. I am thinking that others are not making pain. Our bodies are making the pain. I am wanting another person to be moving me. I am wanting my body to be making the pain, to be telling me that I am being restored. I do not like to be thinking of others as people who are hurting me, most certainly not when they are being kind and are helping me.I d not want to be greeting them: “hello person who hurts me.” I am wanting to say: ”Hello person who makes me well.” I am not wanting names in my head that are not remindng me that this person is being made in the image of God and they are showing me God and that God is loving that person very much.
I am not understanding “erotic images” and I am not wanting to.
I am thinking that I am stepping into Hell every time that I am stepping towards Satan. One day I will not be stepping back to God unless I am now fighting for getting out of Hell.

We are thinking very different. Thanking you,