When good things happen to our children, we tell them to say "Thank you, God, for your wonderful gift."
And when unhappy things happen to our children, we tell them to say "Thank you, God, because by this event I will learn how to depend on You more."
Calvinist parents probably pray with their children some variation of what's come to be called, the Serenity Prayer -- "God grant me the strength to change the things I can change by your grace; the patience to accept the things I cannot change by your grace; and the wisdom to know the difference by your grace."
There's a silly old MGM movie from the 1940's called, "My Brother Talks to Horses" with Butch Jenkins as a young, freckled-face boy and Peter Lawford as his older brother. One day at dinner, Jenkins nervously asks his mother, Spring Byington, a question about the future.
His mother replies, "Don't worry. Everything's happening the way it's supposed to happen."
Now granted, it wasn't Kubrick or Coppola. But for a child, that one line teaches a tremendous amount of trust and patience and acceptance and fortitude to do good and let God sort out the rest.
I remember one night when our young son couldn't sleep for worrying about his basketball game the next day, and nothing could settle his restless anxiety. I thought of that exact line from that movie. I reminded my son that everything is already known to God, even tomorrow's scoreboard, and that God wanted him well-rested and strong and clear-headed for the game ahead so he would play his very best. In a moment, my son was asleep. And the next day, he played his heart out.
When you see enough anecdotal evidence of something, you begin to recognize a trend. The more I believed in God's hand in my life, the more I saw it and was comforted and encouraged and strengthened by it.
And as God is so good, our children now see it, too.
Children need firm answers to life's thorny questions. So do adults. And the answers are the same. It's all happening exactly as it's supposed to happen, according to God's will, for God's glory and for the welfare of His children, who learn from the bad as well as the good.
Romans 8:28. That's what Christian parents should teach their children.
A tender post. Thank you for sharing a personal story and the trip back in time when people had a better understanding of providence.
Truly I do not see anything more important than loving God - in deed, not in word only. As you have testified, raising your children to give God the glory for everything and to trust Him no matter what.
Praise God!!!
Calvinist parents tell their children what I would hope all parents tell their children -- that God loves them unconditionally and will be with them always and never leave them.
I agree with your hope. My initial question was whether that was taught since it assumes, according to your views: that the child is a member of the elect, which not every child is.
Perhaps the best practice for Calvinist is to assume all their children are. Maybe that is what you're saying in your reply.
Isn’t that inconsistent with the Reformed belief that only some get God’s unconditional love?
At what point do you inform them of the situation and status and inevitable outcome of the non elect? And, depending on the extent (Calvinist versus hyper Calvinist), when do you inform them that God hates (Reformed version of the Jacob and Esau story) those who will go to hell?