I understand. It was what I made an effort to express in #114 on this thread.
The impetus to bring down the Church seems to be the foremost form of Christian witness for some.
Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross; And having spoiled principalities and powers, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it." -- Colossians 2:13-15"And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;
We have either been "quickened together with Him" by the will of God through the work of the Holy Spirit, or we haven't.
If we have been given faith in Him through the grace of God, all our sins have been paid for by Jesus Christ on the cross. It is finished. He has triumphed. We have been redeemed.
Rejoice in the salvation that's been given to you by glorifying God and enjoying Him forever.