As a hard agnostic it was not easy for me to come to/seek the Lord.. Actually it took a miracle for me to accept there was a Lord as a God..
Even after I did reading the bible put me to sleep like knock out drops.. After some prayer and a miracle the bible opened up to me and became personal and real..
(1) In the beginning I approached God in a way like "worship" meaning he was God I was some kind of "servant" or believer or some other word..
(2) At some stage... the worship thing went away and I felt closer and a more personal relationship.. Not like he was God and me a mere creature bowing and scraping to one so omnecient and powerful..
(3) At another stage, I don't remember when, the relationship progressed to a kind of friendship.. At least I thought of it as a friendship.. No worship but a lot of praise and awe.. for a SuperHero like of friend; I was proud to know.. Like I knew God personally a little.. The word father was not real to me yet.. But I was extremely happy to have the relationship I had.. Even though I could not use the word father in a real way yet.. And did not feel deprived..
(4) The next stage, was a closer friendship yet.. Like a friend.. a real friend.. My prayer became a conversation.. sometimes one way but a conversation nevertheless.. You don't worship a "friend".. To be honest stages 1,2,3,and 4 still happened sometimes but I knew the difference.. and preferred and sought after (4)...
(5) After that stage the thought came to one day while praying that my human body had a human father as a father ; but my human spirit has my heavenly father as a father.. One father for my body another father for my spirit.. So then, I had two fathers in a real way.. There is scripture that indicates "the Father" knew me/us before we were born.. That settled it to me.. Easy now to address my father as my father.. Couldn't/Didn't do it before this.. You do not worship your father you just love him..
(6) I would have say I do not worship God anymore.. I just love him.. True that I cannot even concieve totally whom and what my father(God) actually is but then I cannot totally concieve of whom I am either.. because of it.. I see that as progress.. With a father like that who knows whom and what I am.. Know what I mean?...
(7) Marantha Jesus..
I am in tears over your testimony. I can't find an adjective lovely enough, large enough, to describe it. Thank you so much for sharing this experience here in such an easy to understand way, with such simplicity and humility and grace. I am moved beyond words, dear hosepipe.
Very moving. Thanks.
I think you make very wonderful, touching and valid as well as Biblical distinctions.
I think sometimes HE IS HIGH AND LIFTED UP AND HIS TRAIN FILLS THE TEMPLE. . . . when only abject prostration in whatever internal &/or external posture is workable.
At other times, He is Daddy with us on His lap or leaning on His breast or walking in the cool of the evening.
Is Worship, in essence, intense COMMUNE-ion?
Maranatha, Jesus!
Beautiful, hosepipe. Thanks! Love, Mxxx